Mesothelioma and Me

Taunton tomorrow.

2012-02-01T17:50:00.003Z

I am seeing Dr TOF tomorrow for my dilation (Stretch the oesophagus) and removal of the last clip he put in. I have added a picture. To try and explain it is hard but here goes, the lungs are looking good, so much better than when I was diagnosed.

The oesophagus and windpipe are still connected, there is a small gap between them and this is what Dr TOF is trying to close.

There is also the clip that is sometimes obstructing anything I eat or drink, he is going to remove that.

I will have a CT scan next week and it will hopefully show that obstruction has gone.

Since having this done, I have been drinking and eating well and had no chest infections. That is so very rare for me.

I am off out to get the train for 8:30 tomorrow morning, it is going to be cold, if it has to snow, can it please wait till I get to my warm and cosy hospital bed. If I am trapped there I will have meals made and will be relaxing for a bit : )

Time to catch up.

2012-01-30T18:43:00.010Z

Absolutely freezing cold day but it was worth it as I found my next property : )
Dungiven Castle.
Kerri and Rich looking very cold.

Kieran and I enjoyed a belated Birthday night out with Rich and Kerri as it was her birthday on Wednesday.
My gorgeous boy with his beautiful lady, Kerri.
My two wonderful boys.

A real Irish Guinness, At last!!!!

Kieran and I arrived home late last night. Our plane was supposed to leave at 6:30pm but was delayed for an hour. How glad was I that I had booked a transport car and what great service they provided.

We got home around 11pm after a smooth journey from Belfast to Plymouth.

It was so lovely seeing Rich again, we all love him so much and miss him even more. I was so pleased to see that he had a little family of his own, his lady, Kerri, is a sweet girl, so attentive and nothing was too much trouble. She is a beautiful person inside and out.

Her girls are charming, they made us smile every day. I left Belfast happy that my boy was happy and settled.

Kerri's Sister, Evelyn, has also been wonderful, She picked Kierana nd I up from the airport and took us back there when we were leaving, such lovely girls who I know will welcome my son into their family with open arms.

I was so pleased to see Siobhan, David and the cats. Stork have pestered her so much while we were away, as soon as I got in the door, he stuck beside me, not leaving me at all. He had his usual cuddles this morning, I have missed that.

Amber, on the other hand, only loves me for treats, other times she whines and moans about having a cuddle.

It is good to be home, how I wish Rich only lived up the road so I could see him anytime. I am sure there will be more trips to Ireland in the future.

Kieran was brilliant at getting to school this morning even after having a late night, Well done Bean.

Now back to normality, CT scan on the 8th February, See Dr D on the 15th and discuss chemo and what to do next and this week, off to see Dr TOF and having a dilatation on Thursday.

Michael Callaghan

2012-01-28T23:58:00.004Z

Michael Passed away on 26th January after a brave battle with mesothelioma. Another wonderful warrior taken away from his family. I and many others will continue our fight with mesothelioma in memory of Michael and people like him.

Lisa, Michael's daughter put a wonderful poem on facebook in his memory.

My Beautiful Dad .... Dad Pitt x

A light is from our household gone,

A voice we loved is stilled,

A place is vacant in our home,

Which never can be filled.

We have to mourn the loss of one,

We did our best to save

Loved on earth and always will

Remembering all you gave.

'Twas hard to part with one so dear

We little thought the time was near,

You never complained,

You never gave in,

You fought a battle,

You could not win,

You were so brave. x

Love and condolences to the family from all mesothelioma warriors and their families.

May your angel watch over you every day x x x

Seeing Richard.

2012-01-24T13:48:00.006Z

Reading the pony magazines Siobhan sent over.

Kieran and I left Plymouth just beofre 8am and made our way to Bristol airport. We got there about 10:15am. We went through security and then onto the gat we would leave at. We are both so very excited about seeing Richard and meeting Kerri and the girls.

Our flight was very good, we landed and went to the baggage claim, as the sliding doors opened, we spotted Rich, Kerri and her sisiter, Evelyn. Kieran was so excited, I told hom to go ahead, I would get the bags.

I picked up our suit cases and went to meet Rich, well....I ran to him and gave him the biggest hug while I cried the tears of a very happy mum.

Kerri is a lovely girl she has made us feel so welcome, her sister, Evelyn, drove us back to Dungiven.

The girls are wonderful, so happy and full of life.

I was shocked when I heard how Rich was with keeping the house tidy, why couldn't he be like that at home... : )

We haven't done much today, sat and watched Judge Judy, one of my favourite ladies too.

I haven't done anything at all, I am not allowed.

It is Kerri's birthday tomorrow so I hope I can return the favour and treat her, if she will let me : )

Ireland tomorrow!!!

2012-01-22T17:37:00.003Z

My lovely boys x x

I am so excited, Kieran and I are going to Ireland tomorrow to see my son Richard. He left our house last year to start a new life with his girlfriend and her 2 children. They seem very happy but how I wish he only lived down the road.

We have an early start tomorrow as our flight leaves from Bristol and it will take us a couple of hours to get there.

I want to see Richard before I start chemo. We speak to him every day but seeing him will be even better.

We are staying until Sunday so a good few days to get to know his little family in Ireland.

I am also looking forward to experiencing my first proper Guinness, a real Irish one.

I will add pictures and a blog as I will be taking my laptop.

My curly hair......

2012-01-20T12:08:00.004Z

..... And here it is... I am trying to get used to it.

It is typical of my hair not to do what I want it to do and this lot is no exception.

My hair has always been very thick with a kink at the end of it. Never have i had so many curls, I have heard from other cancer patients that it could be to do with the chemo I had.

I am debating obout going topless, I would like to leave the wigs at home when I go to Ireland, we shall see.

Lovely lunch, well nearly : )

2012-01-17T21:37:00.007Z

Lovely red sky this morning.

The wonderful tree dedicated to mesothelioma sufferers past and present.
The first snowdrops of 2012.

I woke to a beautiful red sky this morning. the saying goes,

Red sky in the morning,

Sailors warning,

Red sky at night,

shepherds delight.

Hopefully there won't be a storm coming!!

Before I went to lunch with my friend Mandy today, I popped over to Kieran's school as he forgot his lunch box this morning. I filled in a holiday form for next week, I am so excited about Ireland and seeing Rich and his family. On the way back I went to Saltram to see how the snowdrops were doing around the meso tree. It was good to see they had put their delicate, white heads out of the soil. they are so very young at the moment but such a pleasure to see.

It is a crisp, beautiful day today. I got home and got ready to meet my very brave and wonderful friend, Mandy.

We went to a garden centre in Cornwall for lunch. Lunch wasn't very good but the company more than made up for it.

I bought some plants to put in the garden, as reccomended by Mandy, she is more of a gardener than I am.

I went back to Mandy's for a quick cuppa before going home to meet Kieran.

I dropped him off at his dad's for a couple of hours and went off to do the weekly shop.

All good in Taunton.

2012-01-16T22:21:00.003Z

I had a good trip to Taunton and got to the hospital in plenty of time. It was good to see Dr TOF again. He looked at the CT images and found the obstruction. It looked like the clip he had put in last time but we both agreed that he should take a look anyway while he does a dilatation (Stretch the oesophagus).

He is so very enthusiastic about the whole thing and I am so glad he is, we are on the same wave length. I was thinking that as he was doing the dilatation, he would check out the TOF too, he said exactly what I was thinking. I will be going in to have it done when I come back from Ireland, yes... next week...I am seeing my lovely boy, Richard. I have missed him so much.

Theo has been wonderful and not playing up much, I get the odd nudge to let me know he is still around but so far, so good.

Tomorrow I am out to lunch with my friend Mandy, the rest of the week I will be packing our bags : )

Dr TOF today.

2012-01-16T09:04:00.002Z

I am off to Taunton today, not had a good start to the morning. Kieran kicked off again so am feeling a little low.

I am seeing Dr TOF about my tracheo oesophagela fistula (TOF). This is a tube which connects my eosophagus and windpipe. I have been trying to get it severed but I don't think it has worked.

This was a trial to see if it could be done, it has been done once in the world but it doesn't look like it has happened for me. Saying that, after having a life of chest infections and pneumonia, this has to be the first winter that I seem to have got away with just a cold/flu experience.

The report from Dr D, My mesothelioma Dr, says that there is something dangling from the TOF site, This is probably the clip that was put on. I am hoping that scar tissue has helped by closing the hole up a little more although there is still leakage.

I will find out more today, I don't intened to have anymore operations on it as all is good at the moment.

So a trip to Taunton today, It will be good to see Dr TOF as he has been so supportive with the TOF and believed in me when others had given up and told me that pneumonia would get me in the end. It may well do, but not yet!!!

Love to my friend.

2012-01-14T22:10:00.003Z

Mavis and I with Steve, another meso mate x x

I am sending love and support to my wonderful and brave warrior friend, Mavis, who has been having chemotherapy for her mesothelioma.

She is having a blip at the moment, not feeling very well.

Mavis, get well soon honey and hope to see you back up and writing your blog very soon x x x

Siobhan's card.

2012-01-14T15:40:00.002Z

Siobhan has been designing cards for Valentine's day.

This is her latest peice of work. She is seeling them on her ETSY page.

Copy and paste the link below for more information.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/90380903/drawn-to-you-cute-valentine-greetings?utm_source=OpenGraph&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_campaign=Share

Beautiful day today.

2012-01-11T20:27:00.006Z

Pickled egg and chips for lunch.
A queue of kitties waiting for their lunch : )
The hair clippings, the dark hair is Kieran's, Mine is the small amount of red and Siobhan's is the green.

The weather is absolutely gorgeous today, the sun was shining brightly as I went to get a bit of shopping and some elastic for Kieran's pyjamas. I bought him some new ones but as he has such a tiny waist, all the pyjamas for his size are too big. I thread elastic through to tighten them up for him.

While getting his elastic and picking up some flowers for my friend, I smelt a wonderful aroma..... Chips, this wet my appetite which has been so good lately. I decided I would get chips and a pickled egg for lunch. I tried ringing Siobhan, no answer, I decided to get her some anyway.

I had my lunch and then made my way out to see my friend who hasn't been well the last few weeks. It was lovely to see her and have a chat about Christmas, new year and what has been happening.

I left my friends and arrived home in time for Kieran's return from school.

My hair dresser friend, Jacqui came around to cut our hair, well mine is a mess, I am growing my own afro!!! It is so curly, something I have never had before so should be interesting when it starts to get longer.

Kieran had his cut as did Siobhan, it is always great to see the diffrent colours of hair that land on the floor after the hair cuts. Usually it is red, brown, blonde, pink but this time we have green. Siobhan has coloured her hair a beautiful jade green colour, such lovely clippings : )

I am looking forward to my hair growing so I can colour mine again.

RIP Joe.

2012-01-10T15:18:00.003Z

Condolences to Vickie in Australia and to Joe who fell asleep yesterday after an illness of Mesothelioma.

Love and support is sent to Vickie and to Joe's family at this devistating time.

Mesothelioma, the silent stalker.

2012-01-10T14:49:00.007Z

When will it end? Mesothelioma, like most cancers, is a terrible disease, it is incurable.

Treatments are available as palliative which means it is not a cure, it may give extra time.

It can depending on the type of mesothelioma the patient has.

There are 3 different types of mesothelioma. Some people get a little muddled when asked if they know which type. It isn't to do with where the disease is, it is to do with what type of disease it is.

Sarcomatoid : The most aggressive form of mesothelioma, this one is the Mr Nasty of them all. It spreads very fast.

This one is harder to treat because of its aggressive nature. Anyone asking about Profs treatment (chemoembolisation) I would always tell them that if they have this form, his treatment may not be successful. It is heart breaking to hear that someone hasn't had the success I have had, I wish everyone could have extra time.

Biophasic : This is a mix of the aggressive and the slow growing mesothelioma. Depending on the percentage of each type is dependant also on how aggressive it is.

Epithelioid : This type is the slow growing mesothelioma. Although they are all hard to treat, this one is the best of a bad bunch. Everyone responds differently.

I feel so lucky to have got this type. So far I have outlived my prognosis. I wish it could be the same for everyone.

My heart goes out to all those who have lost someone or have recently been diagnosed, those fighting and those who are losing their loved ones. Mesothelioma can change someone so much.

It not only changes the patient but the family as well. The desperation of caring for or losing someone you love is so very painful.

I have changed so much since I was diagnosed, it must be the same for all cancer patients, no longer do I look forward a year or 2. I look forward to the next 3 months. Bit by bit I have been getting a little more of my future back. Why can't it be the same for everyone?

I bought a wish yesterday and my wish would be that mesothelioma was knocked off its perch and someone, somewhere in the world has found a cure. There are so many people trying so hard to tackle this disease.

I am not sure if it will be in my lifetime but hope that one day there will be something that will work for everyone.

Amber to the vets.

2012-01-09T22:01:00.006Z

Amber isn't happy about travelling to the vets.
I bought a WISH at Next. I hope it comes true : )

Little Amber had to go to the vets today as we felt she was a little unwell. The lady vet checked out a shivering little kitty as she stood on the table in the vets room. Poor Amber, all that creating to go to the vets and not a murmer on the way home, infact she couldn't wait to get back in her cat box after the vet had seen her. The vet gave her a worming tablet and said she was healthy and had a lovely soft coat.

When we got back home, Siobhan said Stork was very worried because Amber wasn't around. Whe we got back he stuck by Amber and seemed to be comforting her, They slept in the same chair together which they haven't done for a while, so sweet.

I had lunch with one of my many gorgeous friends, Tina. she has been a great support to me since I was diagnosed and I am so blessed to have many gorgeous friends around me that I can call anytime if I need help. Tina asked if I minded if we went to a couple of shops before lunch, of course, I refused.... well not for long. We had a look around NEXT and Homebase. I did pick up a couple of things. One of the things I saw was when I got to NEXT, I saw a WISH. It was there, all on its own, in the sale section, no price on it but I had to have it. We all need a WISH don't we and I know what mine is.

After the shopping event, in which Tina only bought a bed side lamp, I had bought a door mat, picture frame, alarm clock for Kieran and a WISH, we went on to have lunch at the Harvester in Plympton. No veggie burgers on the menu, well they were but they weren't available so it was a jacket potato for me and a lovely apple tart for afters....yummy!!

Tomorrow I am out to lunch with my friend Mandy.

Lazy weekend

2012-01-08T11:17:00.004Z

My new wig.

I have been a real lazy bum, not getting dressed till late, up at around 8:30 to feed the cats.

Yesterday I took Kieran to his dads and then met my friends in town for a coffee. I wore my new wig, its a short one and really comfortable. I have started to wear the head sock as well and it feels much more comfortable.

Kieran needed welly boots as he is starting work experience, his first project ...... car valeting ...... I have told him he can practice on my car, you can guess the answer to that one : )

Taking Amber to the vets on Monday just to get her checked out, if she could talk people language I know what she would say.

Tuesday I am meeting my friend, Mandy for lunch. Next week (16th) I am off to see Dr TOF in Taunton. I need to discuss what to do about the clip as it is dangling according to my CT scan. I am choking on a few things again so it could be that I need a dilatation again.

The week after that Kieran and I are off to Ireland to see Rich!!! I was going to book the train to get to the airport but as I was getting all OCD'd up about the journey on the train, I found it was cheaper and more convenient to have a direct journey so have booked a car to pick us up and bring us back home. the return journey on the train would be 3 trains, we wouldn't get home until midnight and our plane gets in at 19:40. This way we will be home by 10pm.

My OCD issues are already in place with the passports, keep checking to make sure the date hasn't changed.... how sad am I : )

Off to work today.

2012-01-06T09:31:00.012Z

I am going back to see my boss today to talk about going back to work. I am off until the end off February. I will probably be having chemo so need to tailor everything around that.

I had a lovely lunch with siobhan and her boyfriend, David yesterday. We went to Saltram as is it quiet and beautiful there. such a lovely place.

I have at last sent off the application form to companies house to start a charity. I am so excited about this, I hope it will be successful. It will give something back to those affected by asbestos. At the moment it will only be in Plymouth. If this works well it can be rolled out to other places. I am working with the national asbestos helpline.

Lovely day yesterday.

2012-01-05T11:44:00.004Z

My little sister, Wendy, and I, Was a good catch up. Hoping to have many more.
Wendy with her yummy chocolate cake.
My apple pie with custard.

My little Bean, well not so little now, Kieran, went back to school yesterday. He very good and got himself sorted out before his bus got here.

I went to B&Q to get an electrical wire detector. While there I looked around for a catalogue for summer houses as we are going to get Siobhan and work shop in the garden for her business venture.

On my way out I heard someone ask how I was, I turned around and there were my dads very good friends. I was so overwhelmed at seeing them. They are such lovely people.

We had a little natter before parting, I felt my dad there too.

I then went to pick up my sister, we were going for lunch. It has been such a long time since we got together, family commitments and time just running through our fingers. We had a lovely meal in a pub called the Golden Hinde. We had to have a dessert as well, of course!!

I got home in time to meet Kieran from his bus.

I am so excited, I booked a flight to Ireland for Kieran and I. We are going to see Richard and his family. We haven't met Kerri or the girls yet so it will be lovely. I want to see him before I start chemo as I don't know how things will go. We all missed him this Christmas and new year. We are going on 23rd January. Siobhan is going later in the year.

The chemo journey will start next month, Mavis and Tess, 2 wonderful warriors, are starting theirs too so we will be on the journet together. I was so pleased to here that Tess's meso is stable, I hope it continues x

Shopping and slippers.

2012-01-03T19:25:00.004Z

My new hat I had for Christmas from Chrissie x

My slippers and socks from Tina x

Lovely jubbly slippers, so comfortable, how happy am I!!!
Siobhan's new hat x

I had another lazy day today, tomorrow it all ends, Kieran is back to school so up at 7:30 am again.

I went in town with Siobhan and David, her boyfriend, today. They wanted to get a book case and I wanted to take my slippers back to the shop my friend, Tina, had bought them in as they still had a security tag on them.

I got to the shop, the security system went off as I entered, no one was around so I went to a cash desk and was met by 2 barbie dolls who told me I needed the second floor, went up there and met some more mature ladies who said I should go down stairs.... Confused . com!!!!

One of the ladies said she would take me to the department that sell the slippers, there I was met by a very nice lady who removed the tag right away. She told me there are usually tags on both slippers but the assistant who served my friend must have missed the second one.

Armed with my lovely memory foam slippers that I have been waiting to wear since Christmas day, I met Siobhan and David , we went around a few shops, one of them was blue banana, an alternative shop. They sell nose studs (got some of them for myself) tongue studs (I will get a new one of them later) and clothes. What did I spot on a hanger.... a hat that I could see would suit my baby girl, it was pink, fluffy and very cute. It would suit her personality. So she had another gift today : )

It has been a lovely day, we left Kieran home, he is 15 now and wants to be treated like a grown up so he had his mobile at hand and was left playing on his xbox, well he won't move an inch from there : )

Ken

2012-01-02T22:25:00.002Z

Todays blog is dedicated to Ken, a lovely man I met at the meso conference last year. He was a very close friend of Andrea from travel link who's father also has mesothelioma.

Ken was a very kind and thoughtful man and it has devited Andrea and her family at his passing.

Condolences are sent to Ken's family at this very difficult time.

No one can take away your pain but we can help by lending our ears and our shoulders.

RIP Ken, no more pain x x x x

Another cat passing through....

2012-01-01T21:19:00.003Z

The Tabby cat who was trapped in our house.
Amber and her cute muddy nose.

... I came down into the kitchen early this morning as I heard some loud growling. I find Stork growling at this huge tabby cat who was trapped in our house. With the fireworks going off last night, the cat door was locked so they couldn't get out once the were in. I must have locked the in door as I unlocked the out door. The tabby kitty went out, he was beautiful. I woke up quite late this morning, 11:30am..... lazy bones!!!!

No cats, none on my bed, none on the stairs, no one, not even the stray..... where were they?

I looked in the garden and there was a poor cold, wet Amber kitten waiting at the cat door to be let in. No sin od Stork, she looked so cute, she had a dirty nose which looked so very charming. Poor baby, I gave her her breakfast and called Storkie, no answer.

30 minutes later he wandered in, he must have found somewhere to settle.

I will make sure the cat door is open tonight. x

New year, new ventures.

2012-01-01T12:31:00.006Z

Happy new year to all who read mesothelioma and me. It is sad to enter 2012 without some very special people there too but they won't be forgotten, Every time I see a rainbow or a white feather, I will know they are around. 2011 was another year that I had been truelly blessed with. I have met so many wonderful people, had the support of the meso warriors, found more friends who are honest, loyal and helpful. I was most humbled that people I don't even know would help out with 2 trips to Germany and that my close friends rallied together to have an ugly dress night and how much my lovely daughter, Siobhan put into helping the fund raising by making badges and creating a blog for Theo, Theo's holiday fund, How proud I am of her. I hope I can return this to many others.

2012 will bring new ventures, I am about to do something that I have wanted to do since I lost my lovely dad and found out I had mesothelioma, I will be involved in a new charity. This will be for all people exposed to asbestos, pleural plaque, asbestosis and mesothelioma.

We have a name, we have the list of things we want to do and when it is more established I will add more to the blog. We will be starting it as a new project, in Plymouth. If it takes off, it would be so good to see it in many other places.

It is so exciting but at the same time so very sad that people with pleural plaque get so little support. I don't know how anyone can say pleural plaque is not an industrial disease and it doesn't count. My lovely, wonderful dad was disabled by it. His breathing was affected, a once fit and happy man was reduced to having a walking stick and to pace himself. I can remember going in town with him and other members of my family. They went into the shop, he couldn't manage it and needed to sit down so I sat with him. I never understood what was happening until now.

I am so very proud to be a part of something that will help people like him.

I am looking forward to seeing Richard, my son, very soon. He is now living in Ireland with his new family. It will be the first time I will meet his girlfriend and her children. I will be going with Kieran.

2012 is also the year I am going to write my book. This is something that has been said to me many times and I feel tyhe time is right to do it.

I have the title, I can invisage the cover of the book, all I need now are the words : )

I hope it is also the year that Siobhan gets her business underway, she has been working so hard. She has had help from the Princes trust with business classes and a mentor. I want to see it be a success.

Happy new year once again and I hope that the year is filled with love and happiness to all who are affected by cancer.

How am I feeling...

2011-12-30T22:27:00.008Z

...After a couple of rums and a little update on facebook, I feel I want to write something, how dangerous is that!!!

I have decided my hair is going. I have had enough and I enjoy my wigs far too much, is that strange?

I can't handle all this topless dilemma, I have to let go and go out in the big, wild world as me, not hiding behind anything. Well, I am not ready. I will get the clippers on it asap!!!

I would love to get back in touch with the family I have ignored because I had bigger things to deal with but it is difficult. I have something huge I have to deal with and don't need the pain of criticism at the moment. Not the right time. Chemo is the next step, do I take it or not, I am feeling so well, I am looking at going back to work, do I really want to destroy that?

What to do, Warriors say it is good to go for alimta.....I am inclined to listen to them. So scary..... I hate mesothelioma and I hate Theo at times like this..... Just need to get away from it all!!!

Will be seeing my baby in January, how good is that, I miss him so much. Just need a hug and some love right now.... Silly cow I am!!!!

Note: I felt very lonely and scared when I wrote this last night. It has been very difficult with the family, I don't normally write about them but on this occasion I will make an exception. I have been told as far as one of them is concerned, I am dead already, also other nasty things have been said by other members of my family, also been accused of saying things on FB which I haven't, not nice things to say but to save myself the heartache, I have kept away for a reason. I am happier with things this way as I have to concentrate on being positive and don't need the negativity that some of my family bring. I will continue to work hard to educate people about the dangers of asbestos and will continue to do it in memory of my dad who should be here today. Neither of us deserved what we got. I am happy being in touch with my sister and with my children, my friends have been the best and the warriors, well, enough said, they are remarkable.

Happy new year to them all, I hope 2012 brings them happiness and love.

Moving forward.

2011-12-30T19:45:00.003Z

Kieran and I waiting for our pizza.

Well, it's nearly the end of another year. I have notched up 5 years so far since I was diagnosed. I have stepped into my 6th year and am hoping that it will be as fruitful as the rest.

Yesterday Kieran met his friend at warner village and went to the cinema with him. While the boys were watching their film, Karen, Kieran's friends mum, and I had a cola in the super bowl and then moved onto coffee in Frankie and Benny's. We had a huge catch up on what has been happening with us. We met the boys after they had seen their film and went our separate ways.

Kieran and I decided we would get pizza for all of us and we stopped off in pizza hut.

We had a lovely evening, it was so good being with him rather than sharing him with his xbox!!

Remembering warriors throughout the year.

2011-12-28T20:23:00.004Z

I lit my candles for all these lovely people and their families.

Carl Hoisington (Mesothelioma)Frank (Jane's dad) (Mesothelioma)

Matt (Ria's dad) (Mesothelioma)

Peter Hambly (Mesothelioma)

Geoff (Mesothelioma)

Kazik (Irene's Husband) (Mesothelioma)

Mike Caulfield (Angela and Tracey's dad) (Mesothelioma)

Rob Daley (Brain cancer)

Margaret Shelton (Breast cancer)

Alan Foot (Mesothelioma)

Alan Stafford (Mesothelioma)

Julie Bastian (Mesothelioma)

Veronica 'Ronny' White (Mesothelioma)

Becky Burchfield (Mesothelioma)

Anita Steiner (Mesothelioma)

David Phillips (Mesothelioma)

Rachel (Korea) (Mesothelioma)

If I have missed anyone off or got dates wrong, please let me know.

Lighting a candle for warriors.

2011-12-28T19:43:00.003Z

I have lit 4 candles in memory of loved ones, their families and those fighting mesothelioma.

Mavis gave me a lovely candle holder for Christmas, she was my secret santa. It looks gorgeous lit. I have added 3 other candles to it.

This is from the ADAO site and explains why we light 4 candles:

On December 28th, light four candles, in loving memory of our Mesothelioma Warriors who have lost their courageous battle. “As we light these four candles in honor of you, we light one for our grief, one for our courage, one for our memories, and one for our love.”

LIGHT THE FIRST CANDLE: ‘The light of this first candle represents our grief. The pain of losing you is intense. It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.”

LIGHT THE SECOND CANDLE: “The light of this second candle represents the courage it takes to confront our sorrow, to comfort each other, to change our lives.”

LIGHT THE THIRD CANDLE: “This third candle is a light to all of our memories of you. To the times we laughed, the times we cried, the times we were angry with each other, the silly things you did, the caring and the joy you gave us.”

LIGHT THE FOURTH CANDLE: “This fourth candle is the light of our love. As we go forward, day by day we cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be reserved for you. We thank you for the gift your life brought to each of us. We love you always.”

Pressies for Halo : )

2011-12-27T14:31:00.003Z

Halo's gifts.

I went to PC world with Siobhan yesterday to get her a graphics pen to go with her iPad. We stopped in Halfords and I found some things for my car, Halo.

There was a dragonfly tax disc holder, a steering wheel cover and some paw prints to put on her.

Siobhan and I will have great fun doing that.

I went out last night with my friends, Chrissy and Neets. We had a great time, I haven't been out on boxing day for years.

It has been a great year, another one conquered and looking forward to doing more next year.

I have loved every minute of it so far and sure there will be more frivolities in the new year.

Wonderful day yesterday.

2011-12-26T10:02:00.003Z

Getting ready to start the Christmas lunch. My friend Tina got me a smashing pair of rubber gloves : )
A gift from warrior Jane who lost her dad to meso and is still missed so very much.
A snowdrop fairy.
She has pride of place beside a picture of my wonderful dad. Merry Christmas Ted (Jane's dad) and dad where ever you are x x
Kieran opening his warrior secret santa.
Some cool tunes to play : ) ........
...... and theres more......
..... a boys book : ) He was so pleased with his gift.
Kieran opening his main present......
How happy is he : )

My warrior secret santa gift from Mavis..........
Thank you Mavis, this is lovely x x x
A gift from Mavis and her husband, Ray...........
..........a snowdrop mobile, so pretty..........
.....it looks great beside Cher's snowdrop painting : )
A gift from Linda and Steve Wride............

......... thank you so much, it is gorgeous : )A gift from Rich ...........
Thanks Rich, love you so much x x x

A gift from Siobhan and David her boyfriend.............
.. Metopolis earrings.... wonderful. I love the old black and white film Metropolis.....these are very much in that style.
.......and another one from Siobhan and David.......
Thank you baby, you can never go wrong with chocolate : )

My baby girl and her latest addition to the stable...... gusty.........
Siobhan opening her pony calendar, how happy are we with our day? Very happy : )

There were gifts galore yesterday. I was so excited at seeing Siobhan and Kieran's faces as they opened their presents. I called Rich to see how he was and wish him a merry Christmas. I asked him to open his gift while I was on the phone, he did and was so pleased to see he had an iPad 2. His girlfriend and her children were pleased with their gifts too. He sounded so happy with his new family, we all miss him so much, Kieran and I are going to see him very soon. It will be lovely to meet his girlfriend and the two girls.

Kieran was happy with his gifts, he had a secret santa gift from the warriors and his gifts from us, again he was pleased with his iPad, he has the first version and hopefully will enjoy hos music even more with this and stop nicking my mac : )

Siobhan had a day full of my litttle pony, I bought her a rare one, she wasn't sure if it was customised, I told her it was the real thing, her smile was so precious.

She had her main present too, an iPad, it will be a bonus for her as she starts her business, such a lot less to carry around.

All in all I had 3 very happy children. I invited the ex husband around as he had Kieran's present. He stayed from Christmas eve till boxing day, he would have been on hos own and as he loves Kieran so much, I wanted him to have as much time as possible with him.

Today is just going to be a lazy day, yesterday was busy with peeling veg and making the meal but so lovely to be here with my babies, what better Christmas gift, thank you so much Theo for the best present ever : )

Merry Christmas from all at Mesothelioma and me.

2011-12-25T11:52:00.003Z

I went to my first ever midnight mass, at St Andrews church, last night with my friend Chrissy.

The church was full, we sang carils and I said a little prayer to myself for all those going through pain and sadness at the moment, especially for the Turnbull family.

I will update my blog with events from Christmas day, I am so proud to be with my family once again. It is a joy seeing them open all their gifts with a wonderful smile on their faces.

Merry Christmas to all who read my blog and support me every day with wonderful words and kindness.

Have a fabulous Christmas. Thinking of all those without their loved ones this year, a first Christmas without a family member is very painful, the rest are too but the first one has to be the most painful. Sending love and special hugs to each and every one of them this Christmas.

All ready : )

2011-12-23T15:56:00.003Z

I am all set for the next few days, shopping done, Pressies bought and wrapped and a nice little bonus in the post : )

I have a few more deliveries to do and we all will be set for the big day. I hope my children love what I have got them. I love seeing their faces when they see their special gifts.

I have had my special gift, I am here again for my 6 th Christmas since 2006.

Nothing will ever compare to that.

My thoughts and love are with those wonderful families who are going through a very difficult time.

The first year without a loved one has to be the worst.

I saw a little verse on facebook which was so lovely I thought I would share it on here.

"I wanted to call you today to say I love you, but your old number is no longer in service.
I tried the operator she said sorry i have no number for you. I tried to go to your house, but you don't live there anymore. The post office has no forwarding address.
I guess heaven is just too far away.
I love you, I miss you. You are in my heart always.
Loved ones are gone, but not forgotten.
Merry Christmas to all those in heaven."

I also watched What ever happened to baby Jane last night, what a fabulous film, Bette Davis was awesome.

I loved the song she sang and have copied it here to dedicate to my dad x x

I've written a letter to Daddy
his address is heaven above.
I've written "Dear Daddy, we miss you
and wish you were with us to love."

Instead of a stamp I put kisses,
the postman said, "That's best to do."
I've written this letter to Daddy,
saying, "I love you."

I love you dad x xx

Rachel Lee

2011-12-22T12:15:00.005Z

I was saddened to hear the news that Rachel had passed away, she was 45 years old, far too young to lose her life. We became friends on facebook and I had wondered how she was as she told me she had stopped treatment back in September. Such a young life taken far too soon. Rachel was from Korea and did a lot to support asbestos awareness.

On behalf of all at Mesothelioma and me we send condolences to her family.

Such a very sad time of year to lose someone, it makes it all the more painful.

Todays blog is dedicated to Rachel x x x

Crazy Christmas catchup!!

2011-12-21T19:15:00.002Z

I have been very busy the last few days. Monday I met my friend Tina for lunch and we swapped gifts, yesterday it was my friend Mandy's turn and today a friend I met at Orange a few years ago.

In between I have been making sure I have all the gifts I need and am getting very excited about seeing Siobhan and Kieran's face Christmas day. I hope they love what I have got them. I will have to wait to hear from Rich, this will be the first one without one of my babies.

I hope he has a wonderful Christmas with his new family.

Tomorrow I have my asda delivery, just got that one as all the delivery slots were full apart from 2-3.

I did get the cats a Christmas gift each but Stork has decided he can't wait and has opened it already, wiht the help of Basil, the stray cat....how naughty they are.

I think I am already to go, if not it's too bad. Kieran's dad is coming to our house on Christmas day, he is on his own so it would be unfair not to invite him. He is bringing Kieran's present from him down to ours Christmas morning. Should be fun!!!

Happy Birthday Kieran x x x

2011-12-19T09:20:00.005Z

My little Bean, Kieran, is 15 today. Time has gone by so fast, where has 15 years gone?

He had a treat with friends last week, his dad and I took him to the cinema and for pizza, with 3 friends, for a birthday treat.

He was thrilled this morning when he found he had birthday money, he will be off in town tomorrow with his dad to get what he wants with it.

I am picking up his birthday cake today.

Have a fabulous day Bean, I love you so much x x x

2011-12-18T23:51:00.000Z

FOR ALL MY FAMILY & FRIENDS AND FELLOW WARRIORS
Merry Christmas. Please re-post and spread some cheer!!
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¨¨¨¨¨¨Merry ~ \_Christmas_/¨¨¨¨To You All ♥♥

Wonderful day yesterday.

2011-12-18T11:26:00.009Z

The rainbow outside Chrissy's house.......
....... At the Cremetorium as well.
Lovely to see the vase is still there and the council have strapped it to the support for the rose tree.
Flowers for my dad x x
Cream tea at Saltram.

It was my dads birthday yesterday so I made arrnagements to visit my dads plaque in the rememberance garden. I went with my friend, Chrissy. Her dad is buried there and she has a memorial there for her sister as well. When we left chrissy's house to go to the cremetorium, there was the most beautiful rainbow, it stretched right across the sky, a beautiful bow shape.

We got to the cremetorium and it was still there, it was so magical, it made the day even more special. We left a rose each for Debbie, our lovely friend who lost her life to mesothelioma last year.

It was very windy, we had a struggle getting to the memorial garden, I had flowers and a brolly and Chrissy had her hand on my wig, just incase it decided to take flying lessons!

I was so pleased to see that the council had tied the vases that I have for my dad and my cousin, to the peice of wood that is supporting the rose trees.

I was ready to buy new ones as they keep going missing.

We left flowers at my dads plaque and at my ousin Robert's. We made our way to Chrissy's dad's grave and left some flowers for him. We had a few tears between us as we both miss our dads so much. We walked back up the path to get back in my car, the rainbow had now gone, we decided to go to Saltram as it is quieter than town, and have a cuppa. Such a lovely day, we had a cream tea between us, beautiful. a perfect end to a lovely afternoon.

Happy 73rd Birthday Dad.

2011-12-17T08:26:00.003Z

It is my dad's birthday today, another year without him. It has gone so fast, this will be his 6th birthday in heaven.

Dad,

There are many wonderful people in heaven with you, have a massive party with them and celebrate your birthday in style, I know you are beside me everyday, if you weren't I wouldn't be here I am sure. Thank you for showing me the steps I needed to take to get another Christmas with my wonderful babies. I miss you so much, I carry you in my heart everyday and hope you will continue to show me the path I should take.

Have a wonderful birthday wherever you are, I will raise a glass to you and light a candle in your memory.

I miss you and love you, I would sell my soul for one for day with you, I have so many things I want to ask you. Take care of all those I love, especially my children. Let your angle wings protect us always x x x

I love you dad x x x

Alan Reinstein award.

2011-12-16T21:12:00.002Z

Emily, Linda and Alan Reinstein.

I am very honoured and proud to accept the Alan Reinstein award for commitment to education, advocacy and support to countless patients and families.

Alan Reinstein was diagnosed in 2003 and died in 2006, since his death, his widow, Linda, has fought tirelessly to change and educate the world about asbestos.

To have an award in her husbands name is a wonderful tribute, I am following in the footsteps of many wonderful and inspirational people.

This award belongs to all the warriors as without them I wouldn't have the support I need to continue with what I do.

I am not sure if I can get to America to recieve it, I would love to but will have to speak to my oncologist as I may be having chemo in February/ March.

Thank you so much Linda for this award, it is a pleasure and honour to accept it : )

Cold wet and happy.

2011-12-16T18:59:00.004Z

Ann and Pam.
Me with Ann.
Pam and I.
Ann and Bill's Christmas card they made to sell for the meso group.

The weather has turned very cold here, it is wet and miserable outside. I am not going to moan about it as there are many people who would love to have their loved ones here to moan about the weather.

I got a skirt from my cupboard and thought I would run the iron over it.....dopey sod I am.... I realised I was holding the food mixer!!

I went out to lunch today with Ann and Pam from our support group. I was late getting to the venue, Veneziana, an italian place in the city centre. Trying to find a parking space was terrible. I did get one in the end and eventually arrived at 12:45 rather that 12:30 as planned. All was good though, the ladies were chatting and said they were treating me to lunch as a surprise, how lovely is that. Ann gave me her last pack of cards, they had done so well to sell them in support of our group. Pam gave me a gift too, so kind of her, theres me just turning up with cards!!!

We had a good old natter, Pam is a sweetheart, she lost her husband a few months back and must be finding this time of year so difficult.

I left the ladies at about 2:40 and headed back for my car, I knew Siobhan was out so had to get back for Kieran. I got home only to find that I forgot to pick my keys up before I went out.... D'oh!!

I was in desperate need of the bathroom so calledf Tina, my lovely friend and asked if I could pop over and use her facilities. I met Kieran from his bus, who wasn't too happy with me as we couldn't get in so I told him he could stand in the cold and rain outside the house if he wanted to and I would see him later, He decided that he would rather come with me : )

I got to Tina's used her bathroom a nd had a cuppa and a natter. Phew....now all I had to do was to wait for Siobhan to call and I would pick her up and then go home.

We got back and settled into our house, 3 cats watching us as we came in ........ Yes 3..... one is a stray who has made himself at home.

How dare we leave them so long : )

Shopping in the rain : (

2011-12-15T17:07:00.003Z

I went in town today to do a little bit of Christmas shopping, I have a few more to get. I got home and wrapped a few pressies for Rich, Kerri and the children.

I have sent Rich a parcel for his new family. It was lovely to buy things for the girls and for Kerri, his girlfriend.

I also sent a little package to Prof for his little girl. If not for Prof, I may not be here to celebrate another Christmas with my babies. A toy for his daughter is the least I can do.

The weather is appalling here, it is so wet and windy, last night it was awful. Today isn't much better. We do have it much better than a lot of people though, shouldn't moan : )

Kieran's last day at school tomorrow, he is off for the Christmas period. Will be pleased as he is being bullied again. I am hoping it gets sorted out and when he returns he can get on with his school term with no bullies.

Kieran's Christmas service.

2011-12-14T15:05:00.016Z

My little boy in December 2006. The first Christmas I had with my new diagnosis. Kieran was 10 years old here.
Kieran and I in 2007, Christingle service at his school. 2nd year with Theo.
Theo's 3rd year and our Christmas service 2008 at Kieran's school.
The 4th year with Theo. December 2009, Kieran and I in the church were he had his service.
2010 and our 5th year with Theo. My boy is growing so fast.
This year, 2011, I am so proud of Kieran. Theo's 6th Christmas with us.

The meso tree, flowers are still there for Ronny and Anita.
No snowdrops yet.

The dragonfly sculture at Saltram pond.

I have been pleasantly busy today. I went to Kieran carol service at the local church with his school. He and his class were talking about Christmas around the world, Kieran had Germany.

Kieran's peice :

Germany : Froliche Weihnachten (Merry Christmas)

The children in Germany alos put their shoes outside in the hope they will get them filled with presents.

If the children are good they will have sweets and chocolate.

If they are bad then they might get slapped by St Nicholas' companiam Knecht Ruprecht (Knight Rupert)

Another class did bell ringing. When one child was introducing the bell ringing, he made the mistake of saying they would be singing a christams carol. A voice from the group corrected him " We are playing it you idiot". Some things never change.

After the service I had my normal picture taken with Kieran. He wasn't amused by this, think he feels too old for it all now. We went back to school were I had a cup of coffee and a mince pie.

I volunteered to help with the friends of the school, I am going to be the secretary so a pair of dark rimmed glasses and a snug little suit are in order : )

After the coffee I made my way to Gables farm, the local cats and dogs home and left 2 duvets and 2 blankets for them. I then went onto Saltram as it isn't farm from there. I paid my respects, to my lovely angel friends, at the meso tree and went in the cafe and had another coffee and a toated tea cake. Perfect on a cold winters day. I looked around the shop after that and when I came out, caught a slight glimpse of some wipsy snow, just a couple of tiny flakes. Is it on the way?

I got home as was greeted by 4 parcels, 2 are Christmas presents for friends and 2 are pressies for me....how exciting.. !!! they are now under my tree.

Lunch at the Buddhist peace cafe.

2011-12-13T08:47:00.006Z

I had lunch with my friend, Christine, yesterday. We went to the local Buddhist temple, we were going to meditate too but it wasn't on today. We had lunch anyway, a lovely butternut, potato and leek soup with some really chunky brown bread.

It is the first time I have been there, I didn't even know it existed.

I bought some incense sticks and a platform to put them on.

We asked if we could see the meditation room, the monk said that we could as long as we removed our shoes. It is a lovely place and I will be going back again.

Kieran's birthday treat.

2011-12-11T09:50:00.007Z

All ready for the film.

Pizza hut had hats for the boys, none of them would wear them so, waste not want not : )

I was up around 10 this morning as I didn't get to bed till about 1:30 after a really good night with friends.

I got myself sorted out and went out to Chrissy's house, we went for lunch and did a little bit of shopping. I then dropped her in town, went home and met Kieran and his dad. We are taking

Kieran and 3 friends out to celebrate his birthday. He is going to see Puss in Boots 3D and then off for Pizza. I picked up Kieran's friend on the way to the cinema and we met the other 2 there.

Kieran's dad and I split the treat between us. It is Kieran's birthday on 19th December, as it is so close to Christmas we decided to do it now.

We watched the film and then made our way to the pizza place.

We enjoyed the evening with Kieran and his friends. After pizza it was time to take them all hone. We waited for 1 set of parents to pick up their child and then all piled into my little halo car and delivered the rest safely home to their mums and dads. I then dropped Kieran and his dad off at his place and came home....phew!!!....... another good evening in the bag : )

Friday frolics.

2011-12-11T09:26:00.010Z

I am excited today, i have my friends coming round for a Christmas get together, we will be doing a secret santa too. I spent the day getting things sorted out, I haven't done this for a long time.

I got myself a Christmas outfit to wear, pulled out the Christmas head gear for us all to wear and tidied the house in readiness for the evening. All was going well till Kieran decided to kick up. It took me a while to sort that out but it did put me behind. I wasn't ready when my first friend arrived.

I chatted to my friend and stayed with her till my next friend arrived, I then went up to get ready.

I had lovely cakes again from Amanda and Mark at " Amanda's icing on the cake". They did a yule log that has 'twice married club' written on it and 12 cup cakes.

When all the girls arrived I introduced them to each other as some of them had not met before. It was so wonderful to have some of my very special friends all in one room.

We ordered a take-away as I am such a rubbish cook, swapped our secret santa gifts and chatted away before the last person left at around 1pm.

All in all it was a fabulous night, thanks so much to Chrissy, Wendy, Avis, Jayne and Maryanne for coming along and making my evening a success.

Warriors South West Meeting.

2011-12-08T14:37:00.020Z

Kate, our specialist lung nurse, and Jackie Lowe opening the gathering.

George our Colonel : )
Wendy and Heather who both lost their brothers to mesothelioma.
John (Bond Pearce) and Richard (National Asbestos Helpline)

Richard's serious face for solicitors : )
The fabulous Kate who is our support.

Jackie and her mum Jan.

We met at the Filamore room at Saltram today. The morning was brilliant, lots of people chatting and getting to know one another.

Anne and Bill sold all their Christmas cards, I was going to buy some, I will pop to their house and get them. It was good to see smiling faces, people who are surviving and living with meso, i have to say, We were a very attractive group, well all accept Richard from the National asbestos helpline who put on his serious "face for solicitors" look : )

We didn't visit the meso tree today as the weather was bad.

Well done to Kate and Jackie Lowe and family for all their hard work. I am so proud to be involved with this group.

Tequila sunrise!!

2011-12-07T22:44:00.008Z

Darren the diamond and his son at his garage yesterday, would have took some pics of Halo being fixed but silly me left my bag in the car with the camera in it. Halo was about 7 feet off the ground.
Omelette and chips at Arribas Mexican restaurant.
A sombrero we borrowed from the restaurant. It was beautifully designed and really heavy.
Raichard from the National Asbestos Helpline donning the sombrero.
All ready for my first Tequila !!!
I was so nervous, I thought my TOF my get in the way......
Down the hatch..... I was right, the TOF did get in the way. I coughed and spluttered after this.
Phew...I made it!!!

Such a dozey mare I am... had a beer last night, told Richard the glass tasted weird, bitter. I thought it was washing up liquid, we asked for another glass as there was a strange taste, turns out it was lime!!! I had asked for lime and didn't realise it was rubbed around the top of the glass.... D'oh!!!!

Jan's lovely gift : )

I have been so busy these last few days, I am hoping I remember all that has gone on.

Everything at the moment has gone out of my head, it is blank...old age is a comin'!!!!

I got Halo, my little car, sorted out today. My lovely mechanic fixed her exhaust pipe, she is now running like a dream. Thank you so much Darren, you really are a diamond!!

After the garage I went to help out my friend with her house again.

We cleared a load of stuff from her down stairs cupboard. She had a gold star today : )

It is so cold outside, I was off out again tonight to meet Richard from The National Asbestos Helpline. we went to a Mexican place this evening to talk about our plans for a new support charity in Plymouth which will include Pleural plaque victims. This is very close to my heart as it is what my dad had.

I got home to 2 lovely parcels, 1 from Mavis and Ray and one from Jan. They are such wonderful warriors. Jan's was gorgeous, a pair of dragonfly earrings and a beautiful little box to keep them in. I have to wait to open Mavis and Ray's ..... pooh !!!! Too excited !!!!

I met Richard this evening, he gave me a lovly little gift, a dragofly necklace, it is so very pretty, the stone has healing powers apparently....what a lovely thought.

I had a lovely meal of omelette and chips, not very Mexican I know but I don't like peppers and mushrooms, I am a very fussy vegetarian.

After the meal, I donned a Mexican hat and decided to try my first ever tequila. Never again!!!! My TOF got in the way and I ended up couging and spluttering rather than sucking on the lemon.... Should have known better but hey ho....another thing off the bucket list : )

I am looking forward to the get together at Saltram tomorrow. There will be coffee, tea and mincepies at £2:50 each and a chance to mingle with other warriors. If it isn't too cold we will visit the tree.

Poor little car : (

2011-12-06T09:14:00.003Z

REMINDER.

Saltram, 10 am-12 am Filamore room.

South West Mesothelioma Support Group.

£2:50 pp for mince pies and coffee.

I took my Halo car to see my favourite mechanic yesterday. Halo has an exhaust pipe problem. She needs welding done so I will take her tomorrow. Darren, the main man, fixed her indicator as well as she seemed to get very excited about turning right.

I saw my friend Maryann, she had a fabulous time at her party. I am having a girls night at my place on Friday so have ordered some cakes.

Just a reminder, on Thursday there will be a social gathering at Saltram.

It will be help in the Filamore room.

There will be mincepies and coffee at a charge of £2:50 each person.

I will be good to see the South West warriors before Christmas.

I am going with my friend, Wendy, who lost her brother to mesothelioma.

I will of course be visiting the meso tree and remembering all those who deal with mesothelioma every day and those lost to it.

Maryann's party tonight.

2011-12-04T10:09:00.010Z

The Birthday Girl : )

Maryann with Triple Soul, such a great band.
Its not easy being green : )
Don't get me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry : )

What a fun day I had today, I went out to meet some new warriors in our area, we will all be meeting at Saltram house for mincepies and coffee on Thursday. I came back and picked up Siobhan and David, we were going to B&Q for some art things for Siobhan. On the way there we heard clanking coming from the rear end of Halo, My car. When we got to B&Q I saw that the exhaust piepe was very loose. I called out Mr RAC who was very good, he arrived within 10-15 minutes. He put a connection on the exhaust so it wouldn't fall off, that was my fear, what would I do if my exhaust fell off and why does everything happen all at once. I have already had a new headlight fitted by Mr Bun, my mechanic. David, Siobhan's boyfriend changed the wind screen wipers for me. Now the exhaust!! I will also have to sort out her indicator on the right hand side as she sounds very excited about turning right. Her fan belt may be a little loose, she doesn't like the damp weather so squeaks a little when I pull away. Once she is warmed up she is fine but it does need looking at.

I got home and chilled out a bit before getting ready for Maryann's party. She was 40 on Thursday so I was looking forward to celebrating with her. Maryann had a lovely cake made by Amanda and Mark who made Siobhan's a few weeks ago. She had a soul group playing, Triple Soul, they were really good, they played for an hour and made Maryann feel very special.

She had bought some balloons for the children, Shrek ones that had a green LED light in them, Childish me decided to get one of the lights from a burst balloon and have some fun when I got home, hence the green face. A great end to a great weekend.

Kieran cam home from his dads today, he said he felt poorly, I told him there would be no xbox as he should rest if he is feeling ill and within minutes he said he felt 100% better, its a miracle!!! Back to school tomorrow !!

Catching up on the blog.

2011-12-04T09:56:00.004Z

Outside Mr Buns with Maryann.
Ready for my night out, the blue wig will match ,my shoes!!!

I have had a busy weekend so will start with catching up on Fridays events.

Kieran didn't got to school as he said he was sick in the night and also said he was sick before school. Not sure if he is playing it again, I told him he couldn't go on his xbox until 4 0'clock which he accepted. It was also the day of his Christmas play, I was looking forward to seeing him in his play as I do each year but he didn't go so it was missed.

Siobhan went to her last business class, she is doing so well. I went in town with my friend, Maryann, she is having her 40th birthday on Saturday and has ordered cupcakes from a shop in the city centre. We took her cupcakes to the venue and then took her to her mother-in-laws.

I went out with my friends this evening. We went to the river cottage venue that has opened up in Royal William yard in Plymouth. I got home quite late, 1:05 am.

Back to normal.

2011-12-01T21:31:00.003Z

The Christmas tree at Kieran's school.

With the CT scan results done, I am now free for another 3 months. I am going to ignore Theo and his escapades.

I took Siobhan to her business school today, she makes me feel so proud. She has had a lot of challenges to deal with and is now over most of them. I know how hard it has been for her but now she is thinking of her future.

Kieran had his school careers evening today. I treated him to a McDonalds on the way there, he doesn't have them that often and I am not a fan of them. Now and again doesn't hurt.

Kieran and I looked at some options he has and we focused on 2 of them. I asked if they had open days, they do, we will be looking around at the places next year. I also asked about him doing a vonlentary stint for hospital radio when he is old enough, he has to be 16. He is very keen to do this. He has his own radio show on the internet which many people enjoy listening too.

I can't believe my little Bean is going to be 15 in a couple weeks time!!

Where has the time gone? I am going to see his play tomorrow "the Santa trap". I am sure he will be brilliant.

Imaging Report November 2011.

2011-11-30T17:17:00.002Z

CT scan Thorax Abdomen and pelvis

History : Mesothelioma. assess response.

Comparison is made with the scan of February 2011

The mass at the left apex, left internal mammary adenopathy, aoratopulminary adenopathy and glands at the left hilum are all stable in appearance. The disease at the left base also remains static.

Since previous scan the patient now appears to have had an Amplatz occluder device put across the tracheal oesophageal fistula. There is a large component present within the oesophagus measuring 12mm. This could be a potential source of disphagia.

The multiple bronchi centric nodules persist but are less frequent than previously in keeping with perhaps reduction in the degree of aspiration. However the nodule the right apex (series 4 image 48) has increased in size as has the lesion immediately inferior to this image 55 addition there are some new right sided pleural nodules, for example anteriorly image 74, anterolaterally image 106, postero laterally image 147 and on the right hemidiaphragm image 232. These are all relatively subtle but will need monitoring as they are likely to represent contralatoral disease.

The paracardiac node is unchanged in appearance. The small amount of pericardial thickening seen anteriorly is also static.

Still no evidence of the disease in the abdomen or pelvis.

Conclusion :

Stable disease in the left lung. Possible subtle early disease in the right lung. Amplatz occluder within the oesophagus.

Phew....all done for another 3 months!!

2011-11-30T17:04:00.004Z

Christmas shopping with Kieran.
The rainbow I saw while out and about this morning, are the angel warriors smiling on me today?

I had a lovely morning with Kieran, he helped with the rubbish, he put the bins out, he emptied the dish washer and helped me take some toys to a charity shop. He has been really good, well... he wants lovefilm back as he kicked off a couple of nights ago. He has made up for it now. I met my friend, Mandy for a coffee and a chat at the local garden centre. Kieran came with me as he has no school due to the latest teachers strike.

We picked out our secret santa presents. The warriors had a really successful one last year so we are doing it again this year : )

We then said goodbye to Mandy and went home to get some lunch.

I picked Siobhan up from her business class after lunch, she is doing so well...I am so very proud of her and what she has achieved so far.

After we got back, within 20 minutes it was time to go again, off to the hospital this time to see Dr D. I am petrified of what he is going to say but as I am feeling so very well, what can he say but all is good.

He told me about the growth in the right lung and that the left lung was stable, that was really good news. We discussed the treatment in Germany, there hasn't been a lot of change and fund raising at the moment wouldn't be right if the treatment had slowed down, saying that, it has been stable since February, which is great. I got a bit overwhelmed with it all and had a few tears in his room. Dr D is always very honest and has said that maybe I should consider Alimta in the UK. He says it would be better as everything is here and no traveling involved. I have till February to decide what to do. He advised me to talk to my friends and decide which route to take as I have choices. I told him I would ask my warrior friends, he smiled and made it clear that he knew who the warriors were.

At least I have Christmas in peace with Siobhan and Kieran, Rich will be in Ireland and will be missed so much this year.

Today is the day!!!

2011-11-30T08:24:00.002Z

I will find out this afternoon if the Prof's treatment I had in June and August has worked. I am so nervous and frightened at the moment. I really don't like these days. After 3 months of being left alone, it all comes crashing down and makes me feel as if I could cry every minute of the day.

I have so many wonderful words of support and love from the warriors, they are a fantastic group.

Mavis, who has just found out the meso trial didn't work for her, still has the time to wish me well. This shows just how courageous she and many others are.

I hope Theo has found it in his heart not to give me bad news. I am hoping he is giving me an extra special Christmas gift, a happy time with my children.

I am feeling so well at the moment that I can't think anything other than something good has happened but that little man is still niggling at me and making me think that I cannot be 100%.

My appointment is at 2:40 this afternoon. Siobhan and my friend, Wendy, are coming with me. I feel like I am going to burst into tears. I will try not too.

Will be glad when 3pm comes !!!!

Lovely surprise today.

2011-11-29T19:26:00.004Z

I went out this morning, took Siobhan to her class, she is learning about business management.

I then went in town to meet my friend, Carolyn for coffee, in Thorntons of course.

On the way back from there the rain hammered down.

I went to my friend, Mary's to help her with her room. Left there to pick Siobhan up from her course and came home.

What a wonderful surprise when I walked in the door. A lovely bouquet of flowers from the nurses at the Glasgow talk.

Chrissy and I had had a lovely weekend, hotel and flights all paid for, that was more that thanks enough.

Beautiful flowers, doesn't take much to make me smile : )

I have my CT results tomorrow, I am hoping for good ones. I have been feeling really well, better than I have in a long time, hoping to go back to work very soon, I hope the results emulate how I have been feeling. I am very nervous, less to go through than some of my warrior friends though.

Update on Mick and Keith today.

2011-11-28T08:47:00.004Z

I have an appointment with the consultant who removed Mick and Keith (My gall stones) this morning.

I have been feeling and eating so much better since they have left the building.

The picture is of my niece's gall stones, she had hers out about a year before me. I did want to keep M and K in a jar but they managed to squish their way out.

2 of the scars are a little itchy and lumpy, it could be a stitch still in there or scar tissue. Will get it looked at today.

A day in the life of Stork and Amber.

2011-11-27T21:33:00.016Z

Good morning blog readers. Todays tale is from Amber and myself, Mr Stork. Here I am woken from my slumber by the noise of that Amber cat yelling for her breakfast. My mummy and I were having a lovely cuddle, now she has to go get get her food. I stayed in bed and relaxed and washed. I will venture down soon.
And here she is, Amber, waiting for breakfast. I am not like her, I sit and wait. She is persistant, well, saves me doing it!!
Yummy breakfast...mmmmm !!
Breakfast was delicious, we were going to settle for a sleep but we heard some noises and went to investigate.
What can it be!!!

oh, it's mummy, wrapping Lacey-Mae's present. We said we would help, don't think mummy wanted Amber to though as she kept saying get off the paper...naughty Amber.

Time to play, I am so clever and handsome, not like some little scamps.
More food, yummy!!
It is such a hard life being a cat, time for a nap I think.
Goodnight all, we have had a great day........ meow-ve over Amber!!!

Coming home after a great few days.

2011-11-26T17:56:00.016Z

On the plane ready to come home.
Guess who is waiting for me to come home : )
Fish and chips in Tavistock.
We found another man in a kilt.
Chrissy and I with a chimney sweep.
A lovely lady on stilts.
Dickensian characters in Tavistock.
A human fruit machine, so much fun.
A Christmas tree festival was in the church, we checked a few out.

Candles lit in the church to remember loved ones.

Chrissy and I were up early to have breakfast and pack to get ready to leave Glasgow. We both said we would like to have stayed a bit longer.

We left the hotel after saying goodbye to Dawn and made our way to the airport. Chrissy was nervous again, she has done so well to cope with the flying the way she has. We went to check in were a woman decided she would jump the queue as we were taking off our coats and boots.

There wasn't an officer at the desk to put things through the scanner so she didn't get any further, we made sure she heard that we thought she was very rude. Her husband stayed were he was, think he was petrified of us. When we did put our things through, the man watching the screen pulled my chocolates back through and told us that for some reason there were some missing, so good to have a bit of fun with the security team, they are usually so serious. We got sorted out and ready to leave when we spotted the queue jumper who had a pair of scissors taken from her bag and was still waiting to go. We made sure she heard us say "ooohh look at us, all finished". Some people are so rude.

We then got on the plane and went back to Exeter, Chrissy's sweaty palms and all : )

We had lunch in Exeter and then drove back home to unpack and relax. We met up again later as there was a Dickensian style Christmas fayre in Tavistock, Devon. It was great to be back home again and see Siobhan and Kieran. Kieran was so good while I was away, he even triend making his own cheese sandwhich, even cutting the cheese. He had a McDonalds meal as a treat, I told him I was pleased to see he had done so well. Well done Bean x x

I spoke to Siobhan about the pony's I saw, she already had the one I bought her but will put it back as a collectors item.

My talk in Glasgow.

2011-11-26T14:24:00.002Z

This is the link to my talk in Glasgow. I have tried to upload it but blogger won't add it. Please copy and paste the link into the address bar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9Eqs2Jx3lM

Thursday, Talk day...so exciting.

2011-11-26T13:12:00.040Z

My blog on the big screen.
Lynn from HASAG.
Phyllis from Clydeside Action on Asbestos.
Me getting ready for my talk.

After the talk I met Irene, another warrior who has lost her wonderful husband.
My little pony in Hambleys, Siobhan's favourite toy.
Irene getting her nails done.

Practicing for Egypt?
The socks will have to go!!! I didn't get this dress although I do like it.
This one is a no-no...too young for me.
Not sure, didn't get this one either.
This one is a big fat yes, got this one...and it looks much better with shoes.
I got this one too.
I wasn't sure about this one...I didn't get it.
My bracelet from Irene.
Lovely Christmas lights.
My gorgeous new shoes.... there's no place like home!!!
Ready for the Ceilidh.
The stunning and gorgeous Chrissy!
We scrub up pretty good : )
Linda, a lung nurse who knows Pat and Tony.
Our effort for Mo-vember....hehehehe x

My wonderful BFF, I have so many.
Veggie Wellington...yum yum.
Dancing the Ceilidh.
Me with Liz Darlison.
Me with Dawn.
We found a man with a kilt.
My gorgeous new shoes.......
....... New tights too.

Chrissy and I were up at 8:30, got ready and went and had breakfast. The hotel is beautiful, the Marriott in Glasgow, four star luxury.

After breakfast we walked around a bit and then mad our way to the conference room where I was going to do my talk. I wasn't nervous at all, if anything I was hoping I could keep it all together as I had been feeling quite emotional the night before when I read my talk to Chrissy, it was from the heart.

I met so many lovely people, Lynn Squibb from HASAG (Hamshires Abestos support and awareness group) This group was set up by Lynn and her sister, Diane after losing their dad, they are wonderful girls. I also met Phyllis Craig who is with the Clydeside action on asbestos group. Such a shame we didn't stay longer, Phyllis invited us to her office and look at the work her and her colleagues do.

I went into the conference room and gave the tech guy my web address to put on the screen.

The coference started and we listened as a surgeon talked about many things, mostly about the EPP, extra pleural pneumonectomy, removing the damaged lung, part of the parcardium and diaphragm, chemo before or after treatment and much more, all very interesting.

We listened to Gerry Slade from Papworth, she was lovely and she knew David Phillips and his wife, David had passed away recently.

My turn came and up I went. I started my talk well, got a bit shakey when talking about Pat and Tony, my inspiration, without whom I wouldn't be here today.

Got to the end where I say I have got the best award ever, I am still here with my children and I lost it... I was filling up, as Bobby Ball would say : )

When I had finished I was so surprised to see that I got a standing ovation, this made me even worse..... how wonderful. Everyone in the room was on there feet and and clapping for little old me from Plymouth, I thanked every one again, and sat with Chrissy, she was in tears too : )

After the meeting, we went to meet Irene. I have been in touch with Irene for a while now, we email eachother quite a lot. She lost her husband Kaz to mesothelioma this year.

We had a bite to eat at the conference and it was decided that I needed an outfit for the evening as there was a CEILIDH, a Scottish dance. We had been invited by the conference organisors, Liz Darlison and Dawn MacKinley. These 2 ladies work so hard and it was so good to see them again, they also run the Mesothelioma UK offices and conferences.

I now had 2 personal shoppers with me, Chrissy and Irene. First we went to Hambleys to get some pony's for Siobhan, she collects them, then we went to a couple of shops to look for a dress for the evening.

We had such a great time looking at dresses, trying them on and deciding which was best. We also decided that it couldn't just be a dress, I needed shoes, bag and tights. I am liking this, 2 wardrobe mistresses ....fantastic : )

Chrissy and Irene went off to find some shoes to try with the dresses and came back with a lovely pair of midnight blue glittered ones. They were gorgeous, I really liked them although they did hurt my toe a little on one foot.

I settles on 2 dresses, a pair of the shoes, gorgeous shoes I might add!!! Got to the check out and no wonder the shoes was pinching my foot, I had 2 left footed shoes..... heheheheh.

I paid for said items and then we went off to Primarny...I mean Primark for a bag and pair of tights. Well it ended up being a bag, pair of tights, earrings and 2 head bands.

After all this shopping we deserved a cuppa. What a wonderful afternoon, I hope Chrissy and Irene enjoyed it as much as I did. We made our way back to the hotel, Irene gave me a gift, a lovely little bracelet. When she emailed me she had said at the end of it "X()X all will become apparent when I see you". The bracelet had a X and then a little stone and another X. Gorgeous, so pretty.

We said goodbye to Irene and went up to our room. We decided we would go for a swim, well we have the pool and sauna here so why not. I was very impressed with myself, I swam I felt really good, not very breathless at all. It feels so good. I did a few lengths and then walked along with Chrissy as she swam as I know I need to pace myself. We went in the steam room and the sauna, I have never done that before. All very nice : )

We went back up to the room again and got ourselves ready to go out, well, how fabulous were we.

My friend Chrissy is a classy lady, she always looks smart and very glamorous. I felt like I had been Chrissyfied, I felt like a million dollars when I put on my new outfit. Chrissy looked fabulous too.

We went down to meet the nurses for our meal, such a lovely meal, I had veggie wellington, it was lovely. We watched as the nurses did the Ceilidh, so energetic, we found a man in a kilt!!! that was a must on coming to Glasgow : )

We stayed until about 10:30 and then went off to bed, we had an early start the next day. We had the most wonderful day, well couple of days. We have been treated so well.

Catching up on the blog.

2011-11-26T12:41:00.017Z

At Chrissy's place and all ready to go to Glasgow.
Exeter and a very aptly named place for 2 'ol birds who can't find their way to Exeter airport : )
Exeter Airport, waiting for lift off.
At Glasgow Airport.
Aahhhh..... in Glasgow and having a well earned cuppa.
Parsnip and apple soup for lunch.
Meeting warrior Elizabeth, such a lovely lady.

Chocolates from Elizabeth, yum yum !!!!

The Christmas lights at Hambleys toy shop.
Chrissy looking for a camel hair coat....lol x x
My lovely friend and I.
Girls night in, bag of chips and a Lambrini.

Well...here we go....this is the diary of events from Wednesday to Friday, so many pictures and so much fun. The few days were fabulous.

I got Kieran off to school Wednesday morning and then made my way to my friend, Chrissie's place. We had a coffee and a chat and then made our way to Chrissy's car. We were traveling to Exeter to catch a plane to Glasgow for the National Lung Cancer Forum for Nurses.

I had been invited to speak and was very excited.

All the fun began as we got to Exeter and lost our way to the airport... D'oh, we eventually got on the right road after I put my SAT NAV on on my phone and it took us round a roundabout a few times. We made the plane in time. A nervous Chrissy, sweaty palms and all, doesn't like flying that much. Taking off and landing are her worst fears. She caught hold my hand and I am glad to say we made it safely to Glasgow.

The hotel room was lovely, 2 double beds!!

We met Elizabeth, a lady who had lost her husband, in the foyer of the hotel. she was so sweet, she brought me a huge box of chocolates, biggest I have ever seen I think. We had a drink and a chat and Elizabeth said her goodbyes, not before telling us she had a caravan that we were welcome to use next year, so kind.

Chrissy and I decided we would explore a little of Glasgow. We walked around and found a Hambley's toy shop, market stalls and many more things that caught our eye. We wandered about for a couple of hours and then decided we would get something to eat. We settled on a good old fish supper, fish and chips to you and me : )

We went into the chip shop and Chrissy asked for a piece of fish with not much batter on it. The lady behind the counter looked at her boss and with a strong Scottish accent, started to laugh.

"Have you got one with not much batter" she said, laughing as she did. The boss started chattering on in Scottish, not a happy bunny. something to the effect of they are all the same I think. All that came to my mind was Rab C Nesbit and Mary hen..... so funny, it made us smile.

With my chips under my coat and a pickled egg in my hand, we walked up to a Tescos store, we need a little drink to go with it... we chose Lambrini, so we were all set. We went back to the hotel room and ate our meal...well Chrissy had ate all hers on the way, it was delicious.

We chatted away for a while before eventually getting to sleep, tomorrow is a busy day, we have a lot to do.

Hi honey....I'm home !!!!

2011-11-25T15:56:00.002Z

Chrissy and I touched down at arong 12pm today, we have had a fabulous time in Glasgow, we were treated so well. I was so ggod to meet Elizabeth onWednesday, she gave me the most enourmous box of chocolates. On Thursday, after my talk, Chrissy and I met Irene, she gave me a beautiful bracelet, thank you so much both of you and it was a pleasure to meet you both. I will add pictures tomorrow, Now its back to normality, CT scan results next week..... here we go again x x

Busy day.

2011-11-22T21:08:00.006Z

Siobhan has been practicing her screen printing and made this bag, she gave her first one to me. I am so proud of her and I love it x x x
Storkie muscling in while I was writing my talk for the Glasgow conference.

I have knuckled down to get my talk finished today. It has been so difficult to get my mesothelioma life condensed into 15 minutes but I think I have done it. I will post it in another blog. I have been packing and got some shopping for Siobhan and Kieran as I will be away till Friday.

While out shopping I heard someone shout my name. I looked around and there was my ex neighbour who works in the store. She looked horrified. I had gone out again with no make up and wearing my bandana. She came up to me and said she was so frightened and she "didn't like it". I was quite upset by this, I didn't think I looked to bad. She obviously thought I was on my last legs, one foot in my box...... not yet my friend, I have hammered the lid down, I am going nowhere!!!

I told the lady I was fine but she kept repeating "I don't like it".

I don't think she meant any harm, some people have different ways of showing their feelings. I don't think she could face seeing me looking that way, well, hey ho, this is me.

While trying to write my talk, Stork decided it was cuddle time and sat himself on my lap, I had a real struggle trying to write with him on my lap. I can here you "well put him on the floor", well I couldn't, I love him so much, he is so cute so I let him stay.

I am very excited to be going to Glasgow, I will be talking to people at the National Lung Cancer Forum for Nurses Conference.

I am looking forward to it and am looking forward also to meeting Elizabeth tomorrow and Irene on Thursday. They are wonderful ladies, both have lost their husbands to mesothelioma. The great thing about mesothelioma is I meet so many courageous and brave people.

Kieran has gone out to his first gig tonight. He has gone to see a group called Chase and Status with his dad. I hope he has a wonderful time, my baby is growing up so fast x x

Purple hair.... not sure yet.

2011-11-21T09:37:00.003Z

I have had a quiet weekend. My friend, Chrissy came over to dye my hair, it's supposed to be purple but it went a pinky colour. It is growing slowly but the blonde had to go, its not me. The pink isn't me either, it isn't loud enough. I think I will be returning to red very soon : )

I am going out to help my friend again, will pace myself as last time I was so tired, I came home and flopped out on the sofa. Haven't done that for a while.

I am off to Glasgow on Wednesday with Chrissy. I am meeting Irene who I have been chatting to via email for a bit now, She lost her lovely husband, Kaz, to mesothelioma. I am very excited about meeting her. I am also meeting Elizabeth who, like Irene, lost her husband to this rotten disease. Such amazing people, I don't think they realise just how much strength they give me.

I am going to Glasgow to talk about mesothelioma from a patients point of view. I have to write my talk, I haven't done it yet!! Will get onto it this evening.

David Phillips

2011-11-19T09:10:00.003Z

It is with great sadness I report the loss of David Phillips. I met David in 2008, he was such a great character. I had many jokes sent through by email and I looked forward to my chuckle every day. Lateley he has been very poorly, I met him again in October at the mesothelioma UK conference. I am so pleased to have met him many times.

David was very brave and did a parachute jump to raise money for Papworth hospital who have been a great support to him.

I will never forget him and hope his family can take comfort in the fact that David left his mark on the world and will never be forgotten by myself and the warriors.

Bless you David, you have earnt your wings, may your star shine brightly toninght x x x

Christmas lights switch on.

2011-11-18T08:45:00.005Z

Yesterday evening I went into Plymouth city centre with my frinds, Chrissy and Jayne. Jayne's daughter, Milly was there to as was Kieran. We didn't get to see much of the light switch on as it was so busy. They were switched on by Mark Ormrod this year, a real hero. Mark had lost his arm and both legs while fighting for his country.

After the lights were on we went to eat at Bella Italia, I was there the day before with Sam.

It was lovely to spend time with Kieran, he is nearly 15 and doesn't always want to go out with mum.

Saltram today with Anne and Jack.

2011-11-17T14:02:00.012Z

Holly is out and looking very healthy.
Ronny's flowers are still in the tree from the last visit to Saltram.

The little meso tree looking out over the road and fields.
Flowers for Anita x x x
Anne and I.
Jack and I.
The gorgeous little tree that means so much to so many. Flowers left for Beveryley, Ronny and Anita.

Kieran nearly missed his school bus this morning. He was a bit slow getting ready and left the house as it started to pull away.
He was not a happy bunny this morning. I hope he cheers up later on as we are going in town to see the Christmas lights switched on. We will be having a meal out too.

Today I went to Saltram, on the way I posted off the old modem from Virgin. Good job I enquired about sending it back, there is a £55 charge if they aren't returned. I then went to the bed shop and picked up my pillows that had not been delivered.
After that it was off to Saltram for lunch with Anne and Jack. Anne lost her sister, Beverley, to mesothelioma. They are a lovely couple, Kieran loves Jack because Jack picks on me. I took some flowers with me and after lunch we all went to the meso tree to remember Beverley, Ronny and of course the lovely Anita who died last week. 3 beautiful and courageous ladies. x x

CT scan and more.

2011-11-16T16:30:00.011Z

The lovely CT juice I have to drink before my scan...yuk!

Very comfy on the scanner bed.

Kirsten, one of the radioligists I saw today, thank you both for looking after me.
Seagulls, greedy ones, well one greedy one. The photo above shows an eyeless seagull, he was trying to swallow a whole slice of bread before his mate got it.
I have a friend, Jan, who has a seagull called Mr Gordon who visits her. He comes in her house and sits on the sofa. Every time I see seagulls they remind me of Jan and her Mr Gordon.

This seagull managed to swallow that whole slice, greedy boy!!!
Sam and I, thankyou for lunch honey x x

I met my friend Wendy at the hospital this morning. It was good to see her and chat about what we have been doing. I had to drink a contrast drink, it wasn't too bad, tastes a little like orange with a little chalk on the side.

When I was called to the scanner i was led, as usual, outside to a very large lorry that contained all the equipment. 2 lovely people were there to greet me, they are always very kind and helpful. I got changed into my glorious hospital gown and laid on the scanner bed.

I had more contrast dye injected into my arm, this gives a very warm sensation.

After it was all done, it only takes a couple of minutes, I was helped up and went to get changed back into my clothes. I asked if I could have some pictures taken, this was fine so I have got my first ever pics of me on the scanner.

After the scan, I dropped Wendy back home as she had walked to the hospital. I then went home breifly to drop off some stuff and then out into town to meet Sam. I met Sam through mtual friends, her dad has oesophageal cancer and she was looking around for alternatives. She had some great news recently, her dad's cancer has receded and his prognosis is good, better than he was first told. We have been chatting on the internet for a while but never met, this was a first as well. It was lovely to see Sam and chat about how we feel about cancer. She bought me lunch which was so kind. I know we will be seeing each other again and I am so pleased to hear her dads good news.

CT scan today.

2011-11-16T08:12:00.004Z

Well, here we go again, the merry-go-round of doom is here again, I am on it and it is going far to fast.

After having 3 months of not having to worry about Theo, he is back and I am hoping that he has done his best to be my friend.

He has been wonderful so far, I want it to continue. With losing beautiful warriors recently, it brings home the reality of it all. Just how mortal I am, I have no control over Theo and what he wants to do but I do have control over how I deal with him.

Letter to Theo.

Dear Theo,

We met in 2006 and have been fairly good friends since then. We have had our ups and downs like most relationships. There are lots of things I would like to do and as I can't do them without you, I want to do them with you.

I want to celebrate your coming of age, 13, wouldn't that be wonderful.

At the moment you have just started school, you are 5 years old and I hope you learn that we can live together quite happily like we have done the past 5 years. You don't need to take charge, be happy in your warm, comfy abode and let me be happy in mine.

Be kind to me today and when I get your school report that tells me you have been very good and not developed anymore than you should.

If you can't do that, then Piss Off....!!!

Helping out.

2011-11-15T20:42:00.002Z

I helped my friend out today by clearing out one of her rooms, I was so tired when I got home that I fell asleep on the sofa.

Kieran seems to be a lot better with going to school. Not so many illnesses now, I can't believe he is going to be 15 in a few weeks, no more baby cuddles and kisses : (

I am going to the hospital for my CT scan in the morning, I am feeling alright at the moment but know when its results time I will be feeling low.

Some of the wonderful meso warriors are on trials at the moment. That is the great thing about our group, meeting people and going through your journey with someone. Mavis and Tess are both on the same trial and meet up at the clinic when they have their chemo.

They are brave people, doing this for the future of other patients, well done you two!!!

Weekend mayhem.

2011-11-15T09:04:00.004Z

Chrissy and I with our free glass of wine.

On Saturday I met up with my friend, Chrissy. We went into town and had a coffee, the coffee shop owner then offered us a free glass of wine, which we took.

I popped home quickly to get a few bits before going back to Chrissy's later on.

We had a takeaway at her place and then on to a couple of places for a drink before going to the cinema at midnight to see the awakening.

There were 5 other people in the cinema with us.

I got home around 3am and had a very tired day on Sunday. I must have looked really bad as a friend of mine couldn't stop staring at me when I went into her shop in the morning : )

Anita Steiner.

2011-11-13T08:50:00.006Z

In Decemeber 2008 I received a message on my guest book. It was from a lady in Australia who had mesothelioma and was in remission. By some miracle, this lady had also had a baby who would inspire her every day to survive mesothelioma. She took the hands of many people and guided them through their devistating time of finding out that they had been stricken with mesothelioma after being exposed to asbestos.

The lady in question, Anita Steiner, She was diagnosed in 2007. Since then she had fought so hard to stay alive with her little girl inspiring her every step of the way.

It is with a heavy heart that I write on my blog that Anita has fallen asleep after a valiant battle with this awful disease. She leaves behind Emma, her little girl who will be brought up without her mummy but am sure she will be told everyday how special Anita was and how she inspired people not just in Australia but around the world.

Thank you Anita for showing me the meaning of true courage and bravery, A warrior forever, now residing in the hearts of all she touched.

Rest now sweet angel, you deserve that, wrap your angel wings around your family, guide little Emma through her life and teach her to be as wonderful as you were to everyone. x x x x x x x

It is 5 years to the day that I found out I had mesothelioma. I remember the time I went into the Dr's room to be told I had one of the cruelest most selfish diseases in the world, Mesothelioma. I should be celebrating but today I will be forgoing that to remember my beautiful friend. x x x x x x x

Good morning from my new bedroom and bed : )

2011-11-12T10:10:00.005Z

Stork's new bed : )

I had a lovely night in my bed. I had some fun with my facebook friends. I decided to take some pictures of me sat in my bed. I put the timer on the camera and made a mad scramble back before the 10 seconds was up....so funny.

Stork was like a Prince. I am sure he thinks all this hard work was all for him, he made himself comfortable right in the middle of the bed.

Sometimes I think he thinks he is my partner.

I was woken up this morning with Stork and Amber running around my bed, because it isn't quite against the wall, they found that they could play hide and seek by running around the whole bed.

Naughty kitties!!!

Kieran loved his new room too, he is off to his dad's today till tomorrow.

I am going to the cinma tonight and I am NEVER seeing another horror film because I am a wimp!

I think we are seeing the new film about Marilyn Monroe, should be a good night.

One bed in situ.

2011-11-11T16:53:00.005Z

My bed was delivered around 2:45pm this afternoon, the weather is awful. The delivery guys were a little grumpy and who can blame them. This weather is awful, it hasn't stopped raining. While they were delivering the bed, Siobhan rang and asked for a lift home. The delivery men left and I jumped in my car to pick Siobhan up. Not far, about 5 minutes away and is better than her getting soaked through in this awful weather.

When I got back, we fitted the bed together and I got my bedding ready to put on....oh no!!!!.... they forgot to leave the pillows!

I called the bed shop and was told that they had none in stock and mine were probably still on the lorry. I would get a call back. 30 mins later I got a call.... they did have them on the lorry but they gave my pillows to someone else : (

I will have to wait till Wednesday for my pillows. Good job I have spares. I will miss them as they are memory foam ones but that is something to look forward to next week.

Bed is all fixed and ready for me to have a good nights sleep in my new bedroom with my new bed. I can spread out as much as I like tonight : )

I have waited for this room for 6 years, I will snuggle in and put on my TV with my SKY multi room and a nice hot drink with a touch of Rum in it, heaven : )

Armistice day and getting ready for my new bed.

2011-11-11T11:55:00.007Z

John Henry Littlejohns was my great Grand father. He was a stoker with the Royal Navy.
My Grand father who died when I was 6 years old. He was a CPO in the Navy.
My dragonfly I bought at Saltram.

Only thing missing is the bed.

I am remembering my ancestors today, there is a lot of publicity about the soldiers fighting in Afghanistan and they are a big part of the remembrance today and so they should be. Many have lost their lives through fighting for their country. I am remembering my ancestors also. It is very easy for them to get lost in the hype of the heroes. They all deserve to be remembered. If it wasn't for all those people fighting for us all in this country, we wouldn't have the freedom we do now.

I have been busy this morning, getting my room ready for my new bed. Kieran has his room all set up. He was quite happy in there yesterday with his xbox. It shouldn't be too long now.

Bed here tomorrow!!

2011-11-10T10:29:00.002Z

I have got the SKY box fixed up in my room now. My bed will be here tomorrow, I am so excited about the weekend and snuggling into my room at last.

Kieran has seen I am selling things on ebay and has kindly given me a mountain of CDs and Games he wants to sell, thanks Bean!!!

I have my scan date now, it is next Wednesday, 16th November. My friend, Wendy is coming with me.

The results will probably be the week after, CT blues may pay a visit, yuk!!!

I am not doing much today, catching up on a bit of housework. I have to go shopping next week and pick up a couple of secret santa presents. Kieran has to get his too, he has decided what he wants to get so I will have to check that the person concerned doesn't have it already. : )

Bean is a lot better today, he said he had a sore back again, I gave him some paracetomal and he went off to school. He is so eager for his new game to arrive, I think that is the draw to stay home.

Busy day today, very productive.

2011-11-09T17:46:00.008Z

George proudly holding his cheque with his wife and daughter, well done George!

Marilyn with the specialist nurse from Truro, Cornwall and Left is Kate, one of our specialist nurses in Plymouth.

Kieran didn't go to school today, he said he had a really bad pain in his side. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him stay home. I told him he couldn't go on his xbox as he should be resting. He agreed with that. Siobhan is home so with her agreement I went on to do all I had arranged for today. Starting off was the support group meeting. Another really good meeting with a talk from a physiotherapist about breathing and exercise. She explained things very well. We also had a talk from a lady from St Lukes who was talking about the cancer research study of occupation and cancer.

This is a research study about how often diseases are due to unsuspected occupational or environmental hazards. Anyone wanting more information can contact Christine Rake (study coordinator) on 08000854383. After office hours there is an answerphone service.

EMAIL : MALCS@icr.ac.uk

George brought in his cheque, he raised money for the group by holding a fundraising event. He did very well, he raised £1,700. He had some publicity shots done for the local paper. Well done George!!!

Marilyn also brought in a cheque from her coffee morning. She raised £380 and this will go towards a camera to video subjects to put on the charity website when it is up and running.

Richard from the national asbestos helpline went over a few things. He talked about the funding for awareness from the British Lung Foundation. They will be working with the HSE to campaign for more awareness where asbestos is concerned.

I met some new warriors there today. They are so very frightened. I can remember how I felt when I was first diagnosed, I was terrified. I told them that my philosophy is that it is possible to live with mesothelioma and not just die from it. From diagnosis it is what you make it. It takes a long time to get used to the idea of having mesothelioma. I hope they can find the strength to get through this part of the journey. It's not that easy at first but with many people ready to hold their hands, they can make it.

After the meeting, Richard and I went for lunch and discusssed the business plan for a charity to support asbestos affected sufferers. This will include Pleural plaque, asbestosis and Mesothelioma. After lunch we went to the Tamar Science park to look at offices. It was all very exciting, I feel so privileged to be at the birth of this charity.

I got home at around 3:30pm, Kieran was much better and I think he will be returning to school tomorrow.

I called the Dr's surgery and asked about my blood test, all is good, no news on the GFR for the kidneys yet so I will ring back in a couple of days.

All together a very productive day : )

Quiet day today.

2011-11-08T18:52:00.003Z

Not much going on today. I called my oncologist to make an appointment for a CT scan. I am quite enjoying being left alone and don't want to be fiddled with but I do know that I need to keep on top of what Theo is doing. He has been such a fabulous friend to me over the past month or so, I am still quietly confident that things are good but even feelinglike this won't change the CT blues when they start. Ian, one of my meso warrior friends called it scanxiety, quite a good word for how we feel I think.

Tomorrow is the South west mesothelioma support group in the mustard tree at Derriford hospital. It starts at 11:30. All are welcome to attend, it is a very uplifting meeting, no misery or sadness, just people who are linked to mesothelioma in various way helping each other.

I am looking forward to going to Glasgow on 23rd November. I am very much looking forward to meeting Irene who lost her lovely husband, Kay, this year. She emails me and tells me about all the things she has done and packs so much into her messages, so lovely to read.

I may be meeting some other people too, not sure yet. I am talking at the conference for the lung nurse. It is very exciting, lovely to see the medical profession taking an interst. the girls from mesothelioma UK have asked me to talk, they are a wonderful crowd and have been and are continuing to be a great inspiration and support to me.

Before all that happens, I will get my new bed, that is exciting too. I haven't had a proper bedroom since 2005. I am looking forward to it so much.

I have had phone calls from Richard, he is settled and happy in Ireland. I am looking forward to seeing him, maybe next year some time. I haven't met his lady yet or her little girls. I miss him and his hugs, I still have Kieran and Siobhan to hug although Kieran doesn't like giving many hugs so time for some nagging : )

Christmas tree up today.

2011-11-07T19:53:00.008Z

Me doing my Uncle Fetser impression. Can you spot the imposter?

My tree, bought in 2007, it has become one of my many challenges to see it up and ready for Christmas.

I bleached my hair on Friday, I am fed up with seeing the grey, it's not me. I am going to colour is when it gets a bit longer. Until then I will be doing my very best Uncle Fester impersonation : )

Yesterday was lovely. I was busy during the day with sorting out the bedrooms and then in the afternoon I went to my friend Jayne's house for tea and met my other friend Chrissy there. I had a lovely roast. I only have the veggies and it was delicious. We had a lovely cake afterwards that was baked by Jayne's friend Cheryl.

After the meal I picked Kieran up from his dads and made our way home.

It is getting very cold outside so the heating is on and my heated sheet will be on at bedtime.

Today I have been home all day, I got the house a little tidier and put up my Christmas tree. I know there are a lot of people out there who don't look forward to Christmas as they have lost their loved ones. My tree is one of my challenges. I bought it in the January of 2007. I was determined to put the tree up in October/November time to mark the anniversary of my diagnosis. On the 13th November I will reach my 5th year, It is my celebration.

I am sending to love all those that this season hurts so much.

Christmas was my dads favourite time of the year. He enjoyed singing kareoke and making mince pies. I have some great memories which I carry in my heart every day.

2 years in our house, happy house day!!!

2011-11-06T08:27:00.003Z

Our old house

2 years ago today we moved into our new house. I had moved into the old one on 27th July 1984, I had 2 marriages, 2 divorces and 3 children in that house. So many memories and I thought it was going to be so hard to leave it all behind. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. this house is wonderful, we all loved it when we first saw it. It is very lived in, not the tidiest of places but is full of love and happiness which I hope continues on into the future. I will be getting my room next week as the boys had the big room, that is so exciting although I do miss Rich so much.

Happy house day to my humble dwelling x x

Happy Birthday Siobhan x x

2011-11-05T08:23:00.007Z

Happy birthday to my beautiful daughter Siobhan who is 25 today.

Today, 25 years ago, I found out what real love was. I met the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I carried her under my heart for 9 months and was overjoyed with the vision I saw in front of me. Siobhan and her brothers, Richard and Kieran make my life complete.

Siobhan, I hope you have a wonderful day. x x x x

2011-11-05T07:59:00.003Z

The throw that will be on my new bed.
My new duvet and pillow set, my room is going to look fabulous and fierce!!!
I had a busy day yesterday, I am getting my room ready for my new bed which will be with me next week. It is so exciting. The picture above is the shop where I bought my bed. When we moved into the house, 2 years ago tomorrow, I bought a single bed and it has been the most comfortable one that I have had.

I returned to this shop to get a double bed, same make and same mattress type. I am looking forward to getting my room looking special. It has been a long time since I had a proper bedroom. I think 2005 was the last time: )

I want an art deco theme and have found a duvet set which is the closet I could find. It is champagne and black lace in colour ..... very Hollywood!!!

Siobhan, David and I sorted out the 2 rooms. We managed to transfer Kieran's things to his new room and my junk and rubbish into mine. We also managed to get another 3 bags of stuff for the charity shop and a bag of rubbish plus a few bits we can put on Ebay for Theo's fund. I picked up Siobhan's birthday cake which I am sure she will love, it is her 25th birthday. How did that happen!!!

Remembering Ronny.

2011-11-03T14:56:00.013Z

As Rita and I made our way to the little tree, there was a shower of rain and a rainbow appeared. How appropriate x x

Not only a rainbow but a whote feather too x x

Rita picked me up fro my house and we made our way to Saltram to visit the little meso tree and remember Veronica (Ronny) white. Such a gentle a beautiful lady. We had to put our brollys up as there was a small shower, as we made our way to the tree a rainbow appeared in the sky. We both looked at each other and smiled.

We got to the tree, we did have a few tears. Such a sad time for Ronny's family. The loss of such a beautiful person has hit us all so hard. Rita started to put flowers on the branches of the tree, as she was doing this, I noticed a white feather making to signs of a spirit being around.

After we remembered our lovely friend, we went into the cafe and had lunch. It was so lovely seeing Rita today, such a shame that it isn't under different circimstances. Never the less, it has been a good day. Sleep well Ronny, we will all miss you and love you so much. You will never be forgotten x x

Lovely day yesterday.

2011-11-03T09:18:00.003Z

I went to Tavistock with my friend, Mandy, yesterday. The rain kept off which was good. We had a quiet amble around the shops. I bought 2 lovely Christmas tree baubles. They had mistletoe painted on them. I don't often see mistletoe on decs so this was lovely. I have decided to go with the woodland theme for my tree this year. I have a couple of friends who I bought in homebase that inspired me to have that theme.

Today is Ronny's celebration day. Her family will be saying their goodbyes to her and it will be a very hard day for them. I would love to be there but it is a big journey after an operation and I know Ronny would tell me not to go and to look after myself. I will definetly pay a visit to her family.

Goodbye my lovely friend, I will miss you but will never, ever forget you. you will always be on my shoulder no matter where I go x x x x

Dr's again!

2011-11-02T09:14:00.004Z

I went to see my GP yesterday, got another sick note, hoping to be back to work soon though. I spoke to her about the recent diagnosis of chronic kidney failure that was first picked up in March 2010. She explained it all very well. She suggested I have a blood test every 6 months to keep an eye on it. I am a little sore from the op last week but haven't taken any pain killers. I don't take them unless I need them. The 24 hour pain killing jabs I had when I had the op seemed to take away the worst of it.

Later in the afternoon the kitties went to the vets. It was so difficult getting them into their cat boxes. It is their yearly flu jab. Amber cried all the way there. Stork usually cries when he is on his own but yesterday he left it all to Amber. All is well with them, £70 less and 2 kitties eager to get back into their cat boxes later, we headed back to the car. Siobhan came with me and was a great help.

Chrissy, my friend, and I are all sorted out for the nurses conference in Glasgow the end of the month. We are looking forward to seeing a bit of Glasgow too.

I am off to the Dr's again this morning for a blood test. In the afternoon I am off to Tavistock with my wonderful and brave friend, Mandy. I am looking forward to it and hope it doesn't rain!

First day out in my little car since Thrusday.

2011-10-31T15:35:00.004Z

Having a coffee in town.
The ice rink it back in the city centre again. I love seeing this, it means Christmas isn't far away and it gives the centre the festive feeling.

I got up this morning thinking Kieran didn't have school. He said his teaching assistant had told him Monday was a teacher training day. Seems that was wrong as 8:37am approached and what should be outside waiting for him but a bus to take him to school.

Here I am in my dressing gown and wigless standing on the front doorstep telling the driver I would take Kieran to school..... How embarrasing!!!

Kieran got ready and sorted for school, I got myself sorted out too and off we went.

On the way back from dropping him off I popped into the bed shop where I bought my single bed 2 years ago. It is so comfortable, I need a double bed for my new bedroom. I was thrilled to find they have the same mattress in a double that I have. I am so excited now, my bed will be in the store next week so it will be wheels in motion to sort out our rooms.

After the bed shop I went into town to meet my friend, Carolyn. It was lovely to see her and catch up on what has been happening since the last time we met.

I am still feeling a little delicate but managed to get about alright. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my Dr and will get another sick note. One day I will get back to work!!!

Naughty kitty's!!!

2011-10-30T12:28:00.002Z

I spent the night in the house on my own last night. Siobhan is at her boyfriends place and Kieran with his dad. Stork and Amber were terrible. I was woken up about 3 times over the night by meowing, Amber misses Siobhan when she is away. Not satified with just meowing, she started fighting with Stork. To top it all she then started to dig at my bed. Eventually they settled down. I woke up at 10:47 am with 2 very tired kitties curled up on my bed. I bet they are snuggled down somewhere now, getting ready for tonights frolicks!!

I am feeling much better today, Not so much pain. I took pain killers on the first day I was home and haven't taken anymore as I didn't feel I needed them. I had fantastic pain relief in hospital that helped.

Kieran is back home today so I will be looking forward to spending time with him. Next project is to get our rooms sorted out so I can get a new bed and settle into the master bedroom at last : )

Back from the hospital.

2011-10-28T18:57:00.006+01:00

Webster, my new friend and companion.

After the op yesterday.

I got a taxi to Derriford hospital yesterday morning and got to the ward at about 7:30am for my operation to remove Mick and Keith from their residence. Mick and Keith are my gall stones and I am had my gall bladder removed.

I eventually got to the operating theatre at around 12:00pm and came back 2 hours later. I had a drousy day but no pain. The anesthetist told me that he would put to injecttions under my ribs that would be a pain killer. It was wonderful, it lasted for 24 hours, no pain. Today it is wearing off. My friend Tina cam in to see me yesterday and left a little friend to keep me company, Webster the spider, he is so cute.

Her boyfriend, Lee, picked me up from the hospital and brought me home. Kieran was home when I got back. he came back to get the envelope to post his game from lovefilm back. He said he wanted to wait to see me. I had a hug from him and he then went back to his dads house till Sunday. I am feeling really sleepy today and a little sore. I have to leave the dressings on for a week and will see the consultant in 4 weeks.

He told me that the stones were like a bag of marbles and they had adhered to other organs, I am not sure which ones but will ask when I see him again.

Goodbye Mick and Keith.

2011-10-27T06:53:00.003+01:00

I am going in hospital today to have my gall bladder removed. Mick and Keith, my stones, will no longer be giving me pain.

I will be in touch as soon as the op is done.

Thanks so much to every one for their good wishes x x x

Lovely night out with friends.

2011-10-26T09:45:00.004+01:00

Lyn, Wendy and I at Prezzo last night.
PROFITEROLES!!!!

Yesterday I tied off a few loose ends. I took some pillows and duvet covers out to Gables Farm cats and dogs home, got on top of the washing and had a general catch up with everything before I go into hospital on Wednesday.

I went out in the evening with 2 of my 3 long term friends. Wendy Lyn, Jacqui and I have known each other for 24 years, next year being our silver one, the 25th.

Jacqui couldn't make it last night as she was poorly. We have decided that we may have a spa weekend to celebrate our 25 years next year.

The meal was lovely, we went to Prezzo in the Royal William Yard. I have a beetroot and goats cheese salad and profiteroles for dessert, yummy!!!

Today I am taking Kieran to his dad's and out later for lunch with Linda and Steve Wride. I will be great to see them again. Steve has mesothelioma and is doing very well, I hope it continues x x

Great weekend.

2011-10-25T14:08:00.002+01:00

I seemed to spend most of my weekend with Chrissy this week. I went over to her place on Sunday and had a lovely roast with her.

Before I went, I picked Siobhan up from Plymouth railway station and took her and her boyfriend back to our house.

Kieran came be back later, he is with his dad.

Yesterday I had an appointment at my Dr's surgery about the print out of information that had been sent to the hospital.

I saw the practice manager and was disappointed to hear her tell me that I did know about the kidney issue. I told her again that I knew nothing about it.

I have composed a letter to the surgery and will hopefully get some resolution from it.

I have been sorting out the cupboards, we will only have 1 single bed now and Kieran has new bedding to celebrate having his new room. I have got rid of the old single sets to the charity shops and the old pillows and cushions with a few odd sheets, pillow cases and duvet covers to Gables Farm cats and dogs home. I want to get as much sorted out as I can a I will be in hospital on Thursday. I will be having a pre-eviction lunch tomorrow with Linda and Steve Wride who also have a mesothelioma blog. It will be great to see them again.

Saturday.

2011-10-23T09:36:00.010+01:00

Trying on hats with Chrissy, I bought some too...couldn't resist them.

I was going to have an Ann Summer's party this evening but as only one person was going to come along, it seemed a little silly so I cancelled it.

Instead I met up with Chrissy and we went to the Broadway, Plymstock, Plymouth to search out some charity shops. We had great fun, tried on some hats, some of which I purchased.

We had a coffe and a toasted tea cake and then went back to Chrissy's to sort out our treasures. We thought we would go to the cinema this eveing and decided on seeing 'paranormal activity 3'.

Well...what a palaver!!

I was so nervous, I am not a fan of horror movies anyway. I like the old hammer house of horror ones and thats it.

I watched some of the film, the rest I had my eyes covered. Chrissy was sitting nect to me and sayiong, "oh what was that"...."somethings moving!" and much more along those lines. So I had a running cometary anyway. When it went quiet, we anticipated that something was going to shock us ... lol... it did, Chrissy let out a really loud scream, so funny. she did that about 3 times through out the film. I am still peeping through my fingers, such a coward I am.

After watching the film, we went for a curry and then headed back to Chrissy's for a last cuppa before I went home.

We were both in our houses on our own, I think she was more scared than I was as she had seen all the film. I said I didn't want to leave Storkie as he is so nervous but invited Chriisy to stay if she wanted too. I think she might have had a night like I had. Trying to persudae myself to go to the bathroom, in the dark.... getting there and coming out as quickly as I could before some evil ghoul got me : ) I think a broke the land speed record getting back to my bedroom.

Siobhan is back home today, not sure when Kieran is back but it will be good to see them. It has been nice having the house to myself but the weekend was long enough.

Friday night fun.

2011-10-23T09:17:00.011+01:00

Booo!!!! lol x x This is a SPOOKY one.
Rachel and Claire.
Saucy Claire.
On the Wii with chrissy.
Avis the witch.

Claire after her glamorous make over...lol x x
Claire and Chrissy.
Lauren.

Kieran went to his dad's after school on Friday. Siobhan was a way in Brighton and Rich in Ireland so it's just me and the cats.

Mmmm .... what to do....... My friend, Claire invited me to a halloween party. I lent my friend Chrissy my corpse bride dress and I wore my zombie bride one. I went to Chrissy's to get ready. Make up on, all dressed and off we went, hoping we weren't going to be stopped by anyone and have to get out of the car....lol. x x

We had a good night, played on the wii, had some nibbles and a chat and trying on some of my fun wigs, all good fun.

I dropped everyone home and got back to Stork who was waiting outside for me. The cats haven't been left on their own in the house before so they were very nervous.

I fed them and settled down for bed after having a good night of fun.

Harvest festival.

2011-10-21T12:38:00.002+01:00

It is a beautifully sunny day here in Plymouth. Kieran's harvest festival was lovely. His class sang a song called 'feed me' to the tune of Forget you by Celo Green.

The organist was like listening to Les Dawson and the hymns where a new strain so no one knew them... it was a very quiet congregation! The children did very well with their plays with the little ones dressed as pumpkins and the middle one re-creating the story of the selfish farmer.

It was lovely. After the service, I wanted a picture with Kieran for my yearly milestone record. He obliged but he does get tired of me and my camera : )

Harvest Festival.

2011-10-21T09:01:00.002+01:00

It is Kieran's harvest festival today. This is a great milestone for me. When I was told I had mesothelioma back in 2006, it was heart breaking watching him as I felt this would be my last time of experiences it. 5 years on and I am still here, still enjoying watching Kieran.

I took Siobhan and her boyfriend, David to the railway station this morning. She is off to Brighton for a my little pony convention. She has been working so hard making stickers, badges, posters and so much more to sell. I hope it is a great success for her.

I am going to a halloween party tonight and then a little do at mine tomorrow. Kieran will be with his dad so it will be a weekend on my own.... that doesn'r happen often.

It is half term next week so it will be easier to sort Kieran out as I have my op on Thursday.

Mick and Keith, this is the final count down!!!!

1,500th post since October 2006!!!!

2011-10-20T11:36:00.002+01:00

Kieran was a real misery this morning, we had no internet so he left the house in a really bad mood.

It is all back on now, I did ring virgin media and was told that it would be Wednesday when an engineer would come out, this didn't bode well with Kieran.

I have now written 1,500 blogs on this site, wow!!! I never would have thought I would have done that many, I hope I get to see it into the 2000's.

Yesterday was a little hard, still reeling from losing Ronny and then being told I have stage 3 kidney failure was a shock too.

I am going to pick myself up though as there are others in a lot worse position than me. One of my best friends is on a transplant waiting list. She does her own dialysis at home between 3 and 4 times a day. She is called Mandy and she is a real fighter. She smiles and gets on with her life and doesn't let the dialysis get in her way. She has her off days, as we all do, but she is so inspirational to me even before I found out about the kidney failure.

Today I amy actually get to use my washing machine again. The engineer is coming out to fix it, I hope. I have a build up of washing from last Tuesday, I have been hand washing in between, how did my ancestor cope? I suppose we are all spoilt in this day and age, got too many gadgets to use that take a lot of the housework chore away.

After the machine is fixed, I am hoping to go to Kieran's school for parents evening. He is helping out by showing parents to class rooms. He will love that, he does love being in charge

: )

Back from the hospital.....

2011-10-19T12:36:00.002+01:00

..... I had all my tests done MRSA, height, weight, heart, lungs and blood test. While talking to me the Dr mentioned a kidney disease. I told her I didn't have kidney disease and she said it was on the print out from my Dr's surgery. Sure enough, in black and white is says 'Chronic kidney disease stage 3'. I couldn't believe it. Also on the print out is a proocedure in March 2010 called a cystoscopy. This is an investigation of the kidneys I believe. I have never had that done either. After the hospital I went straight to my Dr's surgery and asked them what was going on with the print out. I was told the cystoscopy was a typo, it should read endoscopy and the kidney failure stage 3 was on my notes. Why have I not been told? I will bring this up when I see my GP next, obviously no one thought it was important enough.

Pre-assessment for gall stones

2011-10-19T09:02:00.003+01:00

Getting all the checks done at the hospital yesterday.

Mick and Keith are getting nervous. They are getting really close to being evicted.

I am off to Derriford hospital today for my pre-assessment to the surgery next week.

I am in much better shape than I was in March. Kieran has his dental appointment first, then its off to school with him and hospital for me....must go....will be back later....bye!!!

Well....what a morning!!! The dentist was late making me late for hospital. I got Kieran into school and got to hospital for 10:50 for my 10:30 appointment.

The Dr started to do the examination and then mentioned about me having chronic kidney disease stage 3??? this was news to me. When checking the print out from my GP's, I had been diagnosed with it on 16th March 2010. I have never been informed of this and as I have had chemo since, it may have changed how I looked at it. I am feeling very well so am not too concerned at the moment. I was more annoyed that I wasn't told. There was another discrepancy on the print out and that was that I had had a cystoscopy which is an endoscopy for the urinary tract. I was taken back by this as I have never had that done. I went to my GP's surgery to query all this as I was unsure about what I was reading and was worried that someone elses details may be on my notes. The cystoscopy was a mistake, it should have said endoscopy. The stage 3 kidney failure is mine so I will now have to think about how I tackle Theo. I am hoping that he has settled down for a very long time, I am coming up to my 5th anniversary of finding Theo, I want to get into double figures.... come on Theo, we can do this!!!!

RIP Ronny : (

2011-10-18T19:40:00.004+01:00

All the warriors are sad today.

We have lost another one of our group.

Veronica 'Ronny' White passed away yesterday. It was a peaceful end to a couragous and dignified fight that mesothelioma didn't win.

Condolences are sent to Ronny's family, especially her husband, Robert, who has been Ronny's rock.

She has a wonderful family, our love goes out to all of them.

I have known Ronny for a couple of years and have become quite close to her. She was a great support to the warriors. Always there with a shoulder, a smile and a positive comment to pick them back up again. She will never be forgotten, she has left a permanent mark on all of our hearts x x

Saturday night fun.

2011-10-17T09:00:00.003+01:00

My friend Carolyn and I dressed up in our bling to go and see 'Top Hat' in the Theatre Royal, Plymouth. Tom Chambers was supposed to be playing the lead but a he got a back injury through the routine, he stepped out and his understudy, Jason Winter, was in his place.

We weren't disappointed, it was wonderful. Irving Berlin's beautiful music with the dance routines was lovely. It could have been Fred and Ginger tip tapping on the stage.

Yesterday I felt quite sad, I was missing Rich like crazy. I wasn't too bad until I did our Sunday roast and I realised I didn't have to peel as much veg. I had a cry, so silly I know, I miss him so much. He seems to be happy and I know Kerri, his girlfriend, is. He is now in Ireland with an instant family. Kerri has 2 little girls. I am sure they will have a great life together. My next goal is to go to Ireland and see him. I am looking forward to that one x x

Bye bye Rich : (

2011-10-16T12:22:00.003+01:00

Off to Ireland to start his new life with Kerri and her children x x
Rich and I, don't know what is going on with those boots, look like waders!!

Rich and his dad.

I got up early yesterday morning to go to Bristol with Rich and his dad. I know he is all grown up now and has a life of his own to discover but, being a mum, I felt so sad that he was leaving. He had a bad start at birth as he was born unable to swallow which gave us a close bond. We got through 7 years of hell with choking and dilatations. Being 14 was not good, he was a bit naughty but still not as bad as some parents have to put up with and it is normal to be 14 and obnoxious.

Now, at 22, he has met a girl who he adores and she adores him and they seem very happy. I will miss him so much but know I can go and visit him whenever I can. And so starts another chapter

: )

My babies last day at home : (

2011-10-14T12:33:00.002+01:00

Rich will be travelling to Ireland tomorrow to start a new life with his lady. It is going to be so hard to say goodbye. I am going to go to Bristol to see him off.

Washing machine.....well...what fun today....

I have again contacted Comet as I was told to ring up today if I hadn't heard from them about having an engineer out. Again I have been passed around in circles, trying to escalate the call to someone who would actually help me. I have been told again that 23rd October is the only time an engineer can come out. I cannot get any other help than that. They won't replace the machine or help out with cost of taking my washing to a laundrette. I have terminated my warrany with Comet now and that will be refunded, I have contacted Hotpoint who will send an engineer next week to fix the problem and check why the pegs on the paddles keep breaking off.

Hopefully by next week I will have a working machine!!!